Dec 11, 2016
Part 3
So as we move into exploring what exactly constitutes a lie or lying, we cannot do so without understanding and the awareness that each and all relationships rely on communication. When the communication process is disrupted, blocked or in any other way disrupted or chaotic, relationships will generally fail. Although there are other elements needed in personal relationships, and more specifically those of a romantic or life partner; communication is the constant and ongoing influence that often helps to hold us together or tear us apart.
Understanding the truth and then what constitutes an actual lie is imperative when dealing with others and for any real hope of managing our closest and priority relationships. As we communicate, we share what feels to be our perception of the truth; as we have already established the truth is not a fixed object or energy but a variable one. Therefore during all interactions we are to some extent presenting our "truths" and then receiving and responding to what is shared or expressed as another's "truth". The difficulties arise when one tries to force acceptance and validation of what they feel adamantly exists as the truth onto another person, with whom a different version exists.
And as humans although not always the actual intention, we often are unable or unwilling to learning skills and practicing these skills that are the hallmarks of successful and healthy communications. So often the breakdown of a relationship arises due to lack of or dysfunctional communication and the inability to be open to another's truth CAN vary from our own and both or all persons can be right, true or accurate. When the truth becomes used as a weapon or a tool to manipulate, control or obtain the power in a relationship or over another person; the spiritual and emotional connection suffers and for some can escalate beyond repair.
Even the words we may choose in a discussion, how we present or attempt to share feelings or expectations, the response and then the outcome of all or these expressions is reached. So if I say to my partner for example, "I know you left your clothes laying on the floor because you lack any respect for our home or that I have to then pick those up", we have twisted truths. The only probable truth in the above statement might be that clothes were left strewn about, why simply denotes our perception (our truth) of what that action identifies. My partner may respond with, "I was trying to hurry and change because I had ordered our supper and needed to be dressed to answer the door; you came home and we ate and I was on my way to pick those up". So again perhaps the fixed truth that may exist is we know there were clothes on the ground, whether or not the person truly intended to go back and clean up or pick up their mess is subjective and the intention and/or perception of the event.
Picking up and leaving clothes about can seem very trivial and certainly nothing that could actually interfere with a loving and committed relationship. However bigger and more significant issues are communicated in the exact same manner and those can and do have profound effects on the persons and relationships both. And why we have to learn before we can change the way we communicate that for the most part "truth" is a perception and reaction that can and does vary and rarely is a fixed or unmoving energy or influence.
When it comes to deliberate or intentional lying, we are dealing with a very different form of energy and this is directly related to the intentions involved. Lies can be that which is denied, omitted or validated by another action, emotion or intention. Where truth and how we express that can be considered communication or miscommunication, lies are often quite intentional.
If for example a person is caught stealing, to do anything else but admit to that deed, is lying. And lies are very toxic and although communication can and will unravel a relationship, lies can destroy lives.
Humans that have lived or currently live in a framework of either being the liar or being lied to, cannot grow or flourish spiritually and emotionally and our core identity can and is generally affected as well. When a lie is given and/or presented as a truth, the intention is well-formed and focused on avoiding consequences and any accountability or repercussions of that lie. And perhaps even the deed, action or energy that existed so that the lie was then created or portrayed. We could literally see this as being just as harmful to our energy and identity as it would be to ingest poison on a regular basis. Although at first we may argue or perhaps "call out" a liar, knowing either first hand or via logic and intuition that we are being lied to. If we allow that person(s) to have continued access to our self and life, we slowly begin to desensitize and in some situations we become victims. Once we become a victim of lies, we are no longer able to trust in our own self, spiritual power or what we know to be our "truth". Instead we accept these lies and gradually these grow until our entire being is infested with someone else's personal and selfish agenda, WE pay that price.
They (the deliberate or intentional liar) no longer suffer consequences and begin to live in whatever world they have carefully orchestrated and created. We then to remain unified must also accept these lies (poison) else face the breakdown of such relationship and be faced with making significant and life changing decisions.
So the deliberate or intentional energy and intention to deceive another for personal gain or to avoid consequence also damages self. Even those that lie, assuming they are not suffering from a true mental or psychological disorder cannot maintain that higher spiritual connection with self, Divine, collective and others living in what is created falsely rather than what is or isn't.
We have all heard the saying "a little white lie" or something similar that implies there are some deliberate/intention lies or omissions that are harmless and therefore acceptable. The only time this is accurate is when the intention and energy is surrounded by the greater good of THAT person; never when we have something personal to gain or any type of reward no matter how inconsequential it may seem. So keeping a surprise birthday party a secret or "lying" to a friend and saying no party is planned, would qualify. The problem is humans use this as an excuse and therefore its true intention becomes lost. Lies in general are always self serving.
Next, in the middle, lies versus truths and how we even begin to sort through what is a true perception and what is deliberate intention.
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