Jun 9, 2016
A spiritual guide to grieving and releasing; those left behind versus those whose journey moves above or beyond the physical life.
Part 4
As we look at the grieving process and how we navigate our way back to being whole, or as close to whole as possible; 2 things are vital to healing and recovery.
The only way we can begin to rebound and put the pieces of our life back together is by embracing both faith and hope. While this is often extremely difficult to focus on in the early stages of dealing with loss. It is absolutely crucial to our spiritual and emotional health and well-being as time passes and we are often pressured by external circumstances to move forward in our lives. As discussed in parts 1-3 grief and the process is a very personal experience and we as unique and varied individuals handle that process differently. There is never a right/wrong way to grieve, nor should there be a "clock" hanging over our heads insisting we move forward when we are simply not capable quite yet. We also mentioned the warning signs and/or flags to be wary of so that rather than navigating in our own way, we instead become blocked or stuck along the process. However for the sake of understanding and relating to the importance the roles of hope and faith play in our current and future life; we shall assume that you are transitioning and have not become "lost" in this process.
For those that have suffered loss or the passing of a loved one under traumatic or extreme circumstances; or even those who are forced to say goodbye to someone that held an integral or prominent position within their life. The passing of a child, a spouse or partner and even a parent tend to be the most debilitating losses. Also as pointed out, our ability to rebound is directly related or correlated to the relationship with those now gone, the more time together and the closer the bond or connection the more difficult the healing can become. For example a wife that has spent 20 or more years defining her identity mainly as the "wife" and then loses her husband to death, not only deals with the pain of loss or grief. But in many instances their entire lives' are changed and long patterned roles are no longer viable or necessary. So often death brings not only the loss of physical presence, but the need to totally convert, change or recreate our own inner identity as well as our external life. A homemaker may be forced into the working world after being absent for decade. An adult woman who loses her mother may also be losing her best friend, her confidante and perhaps the entire family looked to the mother as the matriarch and stoic supporter and leader of all the family along with the gatherings, etc. So as you can see depending on whom we lose and their role in our life, death can result in a multitude of transitions, changes and the need to almost entirely recreate our world, self and future to some extent.
Faith and hope become vital elements and provide the energy needed to be able to see beyond the pain or intensity of loss and grief in those days, weeks, months and even years. Those that hang on tightly to both hope and faith are able to be open to the potential of the future and survive beyond the worst moments.
While faith and hope are vital to our spiritual being no matter our circumstances; these become the solid matter (energy/attitude) and the buoy that keeps us from drowning during the rampage of storms. And death feels like the worst storm imaginable and those left behind are often so displaced and fragile that they may literally feel as though they are barely clinging to life.
As we learn to go on, to redefine, reshape and rebuild, that hope and faith become more than just portals in a storm. Eventually the healing process continues and we recover or rebound, so that all the faith and hope we clung to during those early times finally pays off. The future begins to be seen over the horizon, much like a sunrise and bit by bit we are restored to our higher spiritual self and energy so that joy once again is able to be found.
While we can never truly "replace" someone we have lost to death; we can and will love again and find new connections, friends or even romantic partners that not only help us to seal up those wounds, but take us further and further into the possibilities that still exist. We survived or are here on earth for a reason a purpose and to embrace all the gifts and potential the universe and Divine offer. While certainly we are expected and it's necessary to mourn, we are not meant to live forever in darkness, never able to return to the "land of the living".
Faith and hope may only be dim sparks that we catch a glimpse of now and again; but by awareness and sometimes simply going through the motions of life; these become brighter, stronger and as mentioned are able to bring about our right to happiness once again.
If the opposite of hope is hopeless, than it can be easy to see that hopelessness is not ever in harmony or alignment with our spiritual being/energy and core. No matter how much we may suffer (and death is not the only cause for severe pain or trauma) hope is our reminder that everything always changes. Faith is believing that change is possible, even when it seems or feels so very far ahead in the distant. Retaining and then building on our foundation of hope and faith is not intended to substitute the loss nor the person that has passed on with their journey. It is our spiritual survival and also gives the greatest honor to those we have lost or said goodbye to in the physical sense. If we were to trade places or imagine the scenario that we had been the one's taken to continue our journey in spirit, we would likely feel great sadness and despair knowing those left behind were in constant pain and suffering.
Although again, it is not in any way meant to imply that death is easily or quickly overcome, however we would surely wish for those still in the physical to move on. To seek and to find love, happiness, joy and peace. It is my belief that they wait for us, but not in a hurried or sense of timing, but rather they are still a part of our spiritual and emotional being and always within our life through our memories and remembrance.
There truly is no other path or way to navigate from devastation to resilience, or from feeling lost to reclaiming our life. It is hope that one day we can and will feel again, and the faith that bonds the hope onto our being in all ways.
And regardless of the tools we use to help us navigate, whether traditional counseling, friends or family support or spiritual guidance, even our spiritual and religious beliefs; none can replace or even begin to assist us without hope and faith intact.
And it may be tested to its very edge or stretched to its thinnest, however as long as we keep a small place within our soul, that there will be a better day. A better time, and that in a sense we make room for the pain while at the same time we make room for all that is love, light, and all that awaits our manifesting, envisioning and creation; we carry on.
Hope and faith become the promise that waits ahead. That soothes and comforts and reminds. That grows as we grow and what may have begun as the tiniest shred of something more, something that waits, eventually becomes our life created in and because of all we have endured. And it is also hope and faith that promise not only change but that we are never truly separated from those we love, not in spirit or heart. And much like the grimacing pain of a shattered bone, what once was intolerable, slowly but steadily heals; becomes a constant throb, then a dull ache until one day it only causes discomfort from time to time, allowing us to move about much like before, but also never forgetting what we originally felt.
Losing and/or saying goodbye in the physical sense to someone we love cannot truly be measured in how it affects our life, our world, our heart and soul. But with hope and faith, we find a way to hang on and to wait. To pass through the darkness until eventually the sun shines once again. And finally we are whole.
Next; expectations, pressures and dealing with others. Our encounters as we heal are often compassionate and supportive. But there are also moments or those that perhaps unintentionally, only seem to pressure us into that which we are simply not ready for, or to be that which they see as the "right" way. ~
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