Dec 14, 2016
"Love; the truth, the lies, holding on and learning to let go"
Part 1
In our last blog series we looked at the actual meaning of "truth" and how the truth is more perception than fact. We also took a look at the opposite of truth-lies and how our intention and agenda is what defines one from the other.
Although the truth or lies is applicable to all aspects of our life and in almost all or any relationship, we now move into looking at our romantic encounters, relationships and interactions.
For many of us when it comes to love; and for this content or context we will define love as a romantic feeling that is deeper and/or stronger than caring or just "liking" someone. It is a romantic connection that becomes a strong drive to be with a particular or specific person and the desire can be so overpowering that it often controls us to the point of our demise.
So love in of itself is a beautiful thing, but often how, why, when and who we love can be a chaotic, toxic, dysfunctional or just generally not supportive of our highest good. And in this series we look at all of these elements and how we often get to that point, and the potential or insight into how we can exit. And although writing down the words is easy, and even saying we are leaving, or admitting a relationship is anything but healthy is somewhat easy. However exiting, ending and releasing these relationships even regardless of the other person's feelings, actions, intentions or commitment can be so difficult that many simply avoid any action.
Love is supported by trust, respect, communication and when BOTH partners willingly place the relationship and one another above all else. That does not or is not to imply abandoning our family, friends or other people that are important to us. It does however generally indicate that in a partner relationship, so those that are or perceive themselves to be in a life partner relationship should place that as the priority. The only exception would be our children, regardless if they were born prior to the current relationship or are from such relationship. We do have a huge responsibility to the children we bring into the world, adopt, foster or take guardianship of. So without having to continually bring up that exception, keep in mind that priority is anything, anyone and all other than our children or any minor we are the caretaker of.
So the first thing we look at or my guides share is in order to decipher or determine the well-being of our relationship (again romantic specifically in this series) we begin by taking an honest and complete review of our self and our spiritual and emotional health. It is against universal law and quite uncommon to find a person that is spiritually detached, disconnected or in emotional pain or angst when we have the loving support of a partner. There are of course external events that can and do occur, but those are transitions, phases or temporary cycles or responses, not our core being, self or energy. So for example if we have just suffered the loss of a parent or sibling, or were fired or laid off from a job, we are going to be suffering regardless of our partner. The difference between what is our general energy and state of being versus a reaction to circumstance is we can easily identify our wholeness prior to such an event, and are able to project to the future as we heal.
For those that find themselves in an almost constant state of anxiety, mistrust, uncertainty or questioning the "truth" or lies, the intention and agenda of a partner, something surely is amiss. And many if not most humans if not consistently at one time or another have been so overcome with an emotional connection (or spiritual) towards another human that we become impervious to our logical ability to gauge such. Although love and relationships DO require a great deal of work, sacrifices, risks and compromise, there is also balance, joy and equality. So often we become so attached to another human, that we no longer value our self and we place all of our potential for the present, the future and any means or paths to happiness upon that person and/or the relationship. There are several coping issues and major problems with this type of thinking and the actions and intentions manifested in this. First universal law teaches the relationship is always a separate entity from either of the persons. And a person cannot actually give or provide happiness or unhappiness; this always comes from the relationship. The second major flaw is when a connection becomes an attachment we lost all ability for independence spiritually and emotionally and lose our stability and balance by placing significant importance on another human. Almost to the point where we "idolize" that other person, or in the case where we may be seeking a relationship, we idolize the perception of what that relationship could potentially offer.
So we can conclude that when it comes to love and relationships, those "truths" we sometimes tell ourselves although they are perceptions, have been so misconstrued that they unconsciously are in reality nothing more than lies.
And NO healthy relationship, whether beginning or 20 years with a life partner can be healthy, supportive and functional when based on a lie or lies. And that includes those we are told, and that which we attempt to tell our own self as well.
Because we are all unique and different; what may be unacceptable in terms of equality, fairness, support or compromise for me may be very different for another. So we cannot always judge or base a relationship on comparison to other relationships, even those we may have experienced or shared in our past. A relationship must be its own entity able to be viewed and exist on its own. And that can be a difficult concept for humans to both grasp and then create. But if we apply that in our life, we are often surprised or even shocked as we begin to realize that what we may have been struggling to maintain, is pure conjecture and that or those "truths" we have been straining to keep alive, are sadly lies or dreams that have no basis in a reality now or the future.
So next we look at relationships or interactions more specifically and how even as individuals, all with unique relationships can find patterns that help us define healthy versus unhealthy.
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