May 11, 2016
"When their actions and/or behavior becomes our/your pain"
Part 1
Beginning with the past, why and how we always must allow the present and the potential of the future above our past. We must always define and separate what was versus what is or we are certain to repeat it, and we also become "victims" unable to escape until we choose to empower ourselves and let go.
My guides have quite often spoke or taught about the importance of letting go of the past in order to embrace the present and allow the future to be created. Although it is impossible and not even healthy for us to deny the past, specifically experiences or the actions and behaviors of others which caused us great pain, grief, wounds or trauma. We also should never be enslaved by the past to the point of obsession or allowing it to become our primary focus. Those that have found the key or the path to living truly in the present are able to accept the past, perhaps even learn from possible mistakes that were made and are then free to create or manifest their future. When the past hovers all around our energy and life, it gains access to our spiritual core and can create chaos, despair so whatever wounds were suffered are unable to properly heal. Imagine that our past is like a small feral animal, a squirrel perhaps. Now imagine that wild, frightened animal trapped inside a room in your home. One can visualize the damage and havoc that would likely occur. Frightened, disoriented and unable to escape; the animal is likely to rip apart whatever lies in its path in a chaotic frenzy to escape. And not being able perhaps to find the way out that energy continues to escalate.
So that is how our past can and often does affect us. Once the trapped animal is set free, it shakes itself off and runs off back into the wild. And we have that same ability or those same options and choices. Of course there are some relationships or experiences that are going to take more time, but there is nothing we cannot rise above and put in a box on a shelf, not to be denied or forgotten, but to be kept out of way, and out of our current life.
For most of that have been harmed by the actions and behaviors of another person, whether intentional or unintentional; they do seem to walk away without a scratch. And although I believe very much in Karma and eventual justice, we do not always get to see or feel their "payment" or price. And I covered that in an earlier blog that talks about giving closure to self.
And there are times when we have become so accustomed to living in the past that we are not even consciously aware that is where our energy, thoughts and feelings reside most of the time. The easiest way to gauge that is to just keep a daily log or journal of your thoughts, actions and emotions every day for a week. Many of you may be actually quite surprised to find that you have indeed been living stuck in the past. We can also at times just take some quiet time and even look at the current state of self, energy and our life. If we have moved past those horrible moments or experiences, we are generally either healing and taking some steps or in some way moving forward. We are able to relate to others in a healthy and functional way. We may be a bit more guarded, or have stronger boundaries, but we are not so disrupted that we have stunted our spiritual or emotional growth. When we have accepted a situation and placed such in that box, we are not in a constant state of comparison, nor do we live as fear as our driving or main force or influence. Those that are either in the process of healing or healed (which we all carry some scars of course) life is always new and our desires or hopes exist within and we are able to manifest those in our daily life. Whether career, family, friends or socially, we can take things in stride and the present becomes the focus. Also those that have released that which caused harm no longer linger on the person who caused this. Whether a death that was unintentional but caused us great pain and even feelings of abandonment. Or a more dramatic event of being attacked, or a deliberate attempt to harm us. Regardless of the nature or specifics, healing and letting go requires strength and it is absolutely essential that we separate the event and the person from our identity, and how we define self.
And there are times when it also requires the ability to forgive. And forgiveness is letting go, we forgive ultimately for self, so that we are free, no longer that trapped animal, but the freed version running back into the forest. Forgiveness is a form of resignation that allows us to relate to the idea and energy that what we received was not what we deserved. And this is crucial to moving away from the influences of their behavior, our pain.
And for those that find themselves stuck at or on some level in their process, there are many tools available. Traditional counseling or therapy, group meetings with those that share or have had similar experiences. Spiritual sessions, holistic healing and even hobbies or distractions that help us to become one with the present rather than remaining one with the past or the perpetrator.
We cannot control others, but we can control self. And for many that loop that continues to replay the past and any wounds becomes a tightly bound cord that keeps the connection to that person or experience wrapped around our lives'. And often the first step is to become aware of the cord, and understanding that anything that keeps the connection alive, including reliving memories, hate, anger (when it interferes with our life) or obsession over justice or the need for that person to suffer equally all only end up destroying self.
For healing to be successful, that cord and connection must be fully severed. And as my guides say over and over, we must avoid allowing the past to be our mirror or reflection of the future. All is within our grasp and our ability. And quite often long after the injury, the pain, the hurt, the experience, it is our own self that keeps us from rising above. That person or persons have long moved on, no longer associated with us or our life, it is our energy and how we process these situations or experiences that can create or destroy who we are, and most important who we can be.
Next, when their behavior our pain is in the now or the present~
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