Nov 16, 2019
Home Free
Sometimes being homeless is not always a bad thing, some people choose to be - like me - at one time. I always say choices are based on need and fear, or desire and instincts. I don't know what that would be called, but for the first time in my life I found myself able to make any choice I wanted and for some reason the main thing on my mind was 'leave home'. Think about it, when a woman lives in a home she has duties; Cook, clean, do laundry, pay bills, paint the kitchen, feed the dog, feed everyone, wipe down the bathroom. The list is endless. Day in and day out, you are at the mercy of the 'home'. Don't get me wrong, I liked my home; nice place in a nice neighborhood with a nice husband, and I had no fears, but I did have 'needs'. The kids were grown and gone and I was still young and I needed to do what I wanted for the first time in my life! For 42 years I had done what I was told, what was expected of me. Go to work, be a good wife, take care of the house, raise the kids, cook, clean, and get up in the morning and do it all again; and all the sudden I now had a choice!
I told my husband I was restless and was going to go visit a sister. And I did. Then I went on another trip alone, then another. It got more and more difficult to come back home. But I had no money and no job and it just didn't make sense to leave a sure thing with a nice man who only expected me to do my job and not bother him with talking about my thoughts and feelings and needs. It was the first time in my life I was able to make a choice based on what I wanted, how I felt. The 'need' was to be free.
I drove away with my clothes in the car. I had no plan. I had very little money. I had no destination, no job, no idea what I was going to do except go spend some time with my sister. That was the plan, go visit sister. I pulled in to her place while she was at work. I came in the house and flopped on the couch and one of her teenage sons sat and talked with me. I felt fine, not upset. It occurred to me I had a lot of family, I knew a lot of people, and had no problem with the idea of couch surfing! So a plan came to me at the same moment that a handsome young man walked in my sister's front door, knelt in front of me and began putting my shoes back on my feet saying, "I am supposed to do something fun to make you happy."
There was no reason whatsoever I could not do whatever I wanted! That was the whole idea of my being 'home-free' so I said, "lets go!" The three of us jumped in the guy's really hot car and off he went, driving like crazy all over town, burning rubber, driving too fast and taking wrong turns somehow thinking that would make me happy? I laughed and asked him to slow down but that was it! I was home-free! Nothing was expected of me, I had no plan, I could do whatever I wanted for the first time in my life. I did not know how to think, I had never been in that situation.
When my sister came home from work that night we sat out on the front porch talking. She didn't ask me what my plans were, it was pretty apparent I didn't have any but was feeling okay. Then she said: "those sprinklers on the center divider look good, lets go run around and get wet. Let's do it naked." She looked at me with a sideways grin and I said, "lets go." We stripped and ran out on to the neighborhood side-streets beautiful, plush center divider naked as J-birds, laughing and running through the water with nothing and no one dictating our actions for the first time in my life. It was the most free, fun, wonderful moment in my life. As we returned to the house laughing, wet, and free I had the feeling this home-free adventure would be a story no one could possibly invent. It had no plan, no expectations, it was an in-the-moment adventure that would depend on what was around the next corner.
In the next 20 years I lived in 5 states, 13 towns, had dozens of jobs and two more husbands, and do not regret any moment of any of it. I got lucky, I did whatever I wanted, I had adventures you could not make up, but I also had a lot of friends and good jobs and an amazing amount of luck. But the point is, don't let home and home duties get in the way of you and what You want! I am sure there is a way of combining the two: home and being 'you'. But the message is don't let duty and fear get in the way of being the free spirit you really are. Listen to the inner you. You never know when you will find the right sprinkler to run through.
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Image: www.depositphotos.com/# 133466182 Date: Nov 30, 2018
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