May 24, 2019
Incidental Events - Life Does Have Its Rewards
Think about it. Life is a string of events, large and small. Combined, these events turn into the story of who we are and who we become. All of it depends on who makes what choice in the moment something happens. As children we don't have anything to say about those events, but we do experience them, learn from them, form thought and ideas that affect us when we finally do have the ability to make a choice. Later in life we can dust off those events and figure out what kind of difference they made and what might be done to fix any dents they left. Looking at a situation as an adult could change the slant of those odd times. We can look for the good and bad, and how we have used them. And then we can choose to fix it or just leave it alone... call it Life.
Because my mother never did like me she would pawn me off on anyone who would take me at any time. I was intelligent and a bit outspoken but never caused problems. However, since the only thing anyone ever heard about me was my Mother's negative opinion, everyone automatically presumed I was a problem and treated me as a burden even though I was just a kid, and not a bad one at that!
This time I was about thirteen, and somehow found myself on the out-in-the-boonies farm of my stepfather's sister and her family, one of which was her mentally challenged (back in those days it was called retarded) son of about 15. Large for his age, and with a mentality that would never progress, he was functional to the point he could talk, take care of his personal needs, and help out on the farm. He was kind and there was no danger, but I had never been around anyone like him so, as was my nature, I just accepted him 'as is'. I was the type of person who always accepted everyone as they were as long as it did not affect me; and if it did, I would decide on any action to take at the moment. Looking back I think it was something good about the person I was to become; to be able to take someone as they were and wait to see what to do with that conclusion.
The 'aunt' was a large, stern, religious person who looked at most everything as something 'god' sent her, good or bad. She was either being rewarded or challenged or punished with every event, and when I was dumped in her lap for the weekend she looked at me in that sideways manner that you could just hear her thinking: "Why me, 'lord'?"
Mind you at thirteen I was at full adult size and everything worked, but I was still a kid. I had never broken the law, did not smoke, drink, run around and was still a virgin (at that age I had no idea what virgin meant or what one had to do to not be one), but looking like an adult meant people often expected me to act like an adult. Needless to say life was a challenge until my age finally caught up with my looks. But in this case as 'aunt' was blaming her 'lord' for sending her so many challenges she handed me a sleeping bag and said: "You will be sleeping in the barn". Now, it's true, I was having an interesting life, but so far all of it was spent in good, ordinary living conditions such as a safe, warm bed, decent clothes, and nutritious meals. Mom taught manners and expected everyone (not just me) to follow the rules. You sat a certain way, used the right silverware, did not spill anything, and ate whatever was put on your plate! And now I was put in a barn? The fact that my female cousin agreed to sleep out there with me gave me a small sense of relief, but to say it was a long night would be putting it lightly.
There were things out there in that barn, noises I had never heard before (nor since), bugs in my face and of course I started my period in the middle of the night! The outhouse felt like a mile away, and I have to say it still is one of the worst nights of my life.. But I survived. I messed up the sleeping bag and got zero sleep, but I was alive!
The next morning I was sitting in the kitchen drinking a glass of milk (that actually came from a real cow out in the barn) thumbing through an old catalogue when I felt another 'bug' on the back of my neck! I had been fighting 'bugs' all night so I reached up and SMACKED the bug! Suddenly there was this intense, horrible pain of scalding hot water pouring down my neck and shoulder!
I jumped up and screamed: "DAMN!"!!! and turned around to see the mental male cousin standing there with an empty cup and a shocked look. He had been joking around with the cup of coffee with no ability to think of what the consequences could be. I stood there screaming and crying.
Instead of just removing my blouse and pouring cold water on my neck, 'aunt' strongly (and roughly) grabbed my arm and forcefully dragged me into a bedroom. She threw me on the bed and yelled: "We don't use that kind of language in this house!" She then unbuttoned my blouse and ripped it off taking a large chunk of skin from my neck with it. The pain was indescribable.. She then brought in some home-made butter from the kitchen and rubbed it all over the wound and let it be known she felt I deserved the pain and injury, that I had caused it and there was no one to blame but myself. I was never given anything for the horrific pain, and somehow (I have no memory of how) I was taken home that same day and given medical attention.
For the rest of my life I have been accused of having a 'dirty neck' due to the burn scar on it. To say it was a painful and awkward situation would be putting it mildly. A 13 year old kid with no sleep, bleeding profusely, suffering third degree burns on her neck....What would a person get from a day like that?
I got relief. It was almost worth the burn to get the hell out of that situation. I learned I had exactly zero desire to camp and sleep outside. I learned to say no when I didn't want to do something, and even though I never blamed the 'challenged' cousin for the burn, it taught me to keep an eye on any situation/person I was not familiar with or sure of. But best of all, I never once saw that 'aunt' or had to sleep in a barn again.
I tell ya what, Life does have it's rewards... :)
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