May 20, 2025
Many know enabling and co-dependency in contexts like addiction or relationships where we support actions with which we do not morally agree. This leads to inner conflict, chaos, anxiety, and turmoil within our spiritual energy.
It is entirely possible, and often the case, that one may be involved in both the emotional and spiritual dynamics of co-dependency and enabling. In these unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships, interactions, and even situations such as jobs, businesses, or careers, individuals are unable to follow their true path and identity. Although enabling or co-dependent relationships often overlap with other areas, including addiction and spirituality, there are distinct differences as well. This blog will focus on the spiritual factors, influences, and energy involved, and how humans can easily become absorbed and consumed by this process.
In Intimate Relationships
In spiritual enabling or co-dependency, an intimate relationship or another person often becomes the focus. Here, "intimate relationship" means a person integral to our life, not necessarily romantically. We can enable a family member or friend to the point of self-harm, even unintentionally. This often develops over time, with warning signs sometimes ignored. Being a spiritual enabler or co-dependent leads to harmful repetitive behaviors, stunting both parties' spiritual growth, identity, and ability to embrace future potential.
To understand the definitions and context for being spiritually enabling or co-dependent, we first examine the original source of contact or connection.
People rarely intend to become enablers or seek out co-dependent relationships. Typically, we feel a connection, especially in romantic contexts. As we bond with someone, we may allow this connection to overshadow our spiritual health. Over time, instead of leaving a person in self-inflicted distress or dysfunction, we stay. Enablers and co-dependents often have an underlying need or belief that draws them into such situations.
Spiritual Distress
In many cases, individuals experiencing spiritual distress due to enabling or co-dependency may have an underlying spiritual imbalance. Balance and dysfunction cannot coexist for extended periods before a spiritually and emotionally healthy person identifies these patterns. Even when facing pain, loss, or sacrifice, they typically decide to remove or exit a toxic influence, whether it is a person or a relationship.
In many aspects of life, both spiritual and literal, exceptions exist where balance and healthy dynamics are maintained. These situations support the overall well-being of individuals until a major event or trauma disrupts that balance. For instance, a romantic couple in a committed relationship might experience a notable change that impacts the spiritual dynamics and, consequently, the health of one or both partners.
Even so, a balanced and empowered person with a strong identity will only tolerate such changes up to a point.
Spiritual enabling or co-dependency
Spiritual enabling or co-dependency involves a relationship based on reliance, expectations, and resource use that takes rather than gives. It may mean waiting years for someone to change or realize they love us, with a strong expectation for a specific outcome. This places all our energy into trying to change another person instead of focusing on our own path and finding happiness, peace, and purpose from various sources.
People that spiritually enable or become co-dependent, whether slowly or over a brief period of time, may place their chance for happiness onto a person or relationship that is either dysfunctional or non-existent.
Placing moral judgments aside, my guides use the example of the female that continues a long term, romantic relationship with a married male. It has been established that either a divorce is not an option, or there have been delays such as procrastination, excuses, and unfulfilled commitments. Undeterred the female, persists in placing her hopes and faith that happiness can be achieved when said male leaves his marriage to be her exclusive partner. The male is granted full access to the female without requiring him to make significant sacrifices or take substantial emotional or spiritual risks. This then becomes enabling because nothing changes and if nothing changes the married man has no consequences to deal with. He has unlimited support, love, and resources despite his limited contribution to the relationship. Or it could be a female that is emotionally unavailable for whatever reason and a male continues to support the female, allowing her to come and go in and out of their life with again, no consequence. Instead of accepting an unlikely outcome, an enabler provides more, hoping to create change. Universal law teaches that love alone cannot change others' traits, patterns, or behaviors, especially without consequences for ongoing dysfunction.
Defining co-dependency
In defining co-dependency, although it can be used interchangeably with enabling, there are subtle distinctions between the two terms. Spiritual co-dependency occurs when an individual becomes excessively preoccupied with another person and their interactions, or lack thereof, even if they are no longer in contact. This condition can persist even when the relationship is a past event, with months or years passing without any interaction. The individual's mood, energy, and outlook become entirely dependent on either the contact with that person or on what they perceive through social media, hear from friends, or obtain through other sources of information.
Spiritual co-dependency is intricate and shapes our identity, empowerment, faith, and hope in our life and path.
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