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Sharing the Vision with StarzMayaMoon

Feb 10, 2016

"Being alone without being lonely"
Part 2

As we continue to look at the challenges at being "alone" the context of this particular topic is defining being alone as being without a partner, currently single and for whatever reason we find we are not dating or involved in any potentially romantic relationships. Obviously not all humans require long term romance or relationships and are quite content to spend time alone, with friends and in essence have chosen not to pursue nor actively desire a life partner or companion. If you fall into this category, then no this blog does not apply to you, and its all "normal" no matter in which group we resonate with.

When we find ourselves alone, again without the company of a romantic partner and lacking anyone currently that even feels possible to fill that or no potential at the moment. This can be a difficult and challenging time in our life. There are many of us that truly feel that a major part of our purpose in life is to love (romantic) and to receive love, sharing all the trials, ups and downs, joys and challenges with a special someone. Sexual orientation is not criteria, as love or the desire for love and companionship exists regardless of that identity. Just as those that choose to have more casual relationships or do not feel the drive or need for a companion or life partner is also irrelevant of sexual identity or orientation. Age is also not a factor at least not in our desire towards love, romance and relationships.

It can be a bit of a tightrope balancing act, to have such a strong desire for love and to find or be with a companion, soul-mate, and life-partner or just to feel we are headed on the right path in being able to meet others. And while the circumstances surrounding the "why" of being alone can influence the timing, both in finding love and in the ability to maintain a healthy relationship, choosing not to be lonely is universal.

So later on we will look more closely at specific situations, but first we need to understand loneliness and the ways in which we deal with being lonely.

The first lesson of eliminating loneliness or at the very least keeping those feelings to a minimum understands the collective connection. We are all spiritual beings and therefore we all share a connection to all other spiritual beings-humans and all living things, the life-force. We are also connected to a source, whether we believe that to be a God, a creator, or just the connection of life, we need to strive for recognition and work to embrace this universal fact. Not only are we never truly "alone" due to our spiritual energy, there are many venues and limitless opportunities for uniting with other humans even if that begin in a very non-romantic way or form. And in some rare cases, it can be said that for a temporary period of time, we may be alone in terms of the company or interactions of other humans, but remember spiritually we are never alone.

So while alone is to a degree a choice, being romantically alone or bereft of a romantic partner is often out of our control. However loneliness is always a choice. It is the engagement, absorption of how we process our current state or life. Whether we choose to magnify what is currently lacking rather than choosing to view such as temporary and not allowing that state (without a partner) to define our entire being, thus our life and path. It has been said with great truth that if we cannot be good company for self, we surely cannot be good company for others.

And quite often although we are unable at the time or in that moment to acknowledge or recognize such; being without a current partner occurs because we have adopted an intense need rather than want to share our life. We have potentially allowed what is a human instinct and common desire to overrule and override all other components and influences that life has to offer. And this often will lead us to form unhealthy attachments or dysfunctional relationships that are unable to maintained for "life" and could very well be the reason we currently are single or without a life partner. Therefore learning to cope with and overcome deep or great loneliness not only lifts our spirits during difficult periods in our life, but remains. Those who have accomplished banning loneliness from their energy and vocabulary will begin to find that doors open and other aspects of our life become improved; less stress and anxiety embracing peace, joy, gratitude and as in honor to Miss Natalie, GRACE.

So there is a great deal of work for some of, but the pay off or exchange is a lifetime of improved outlook, energy and even when our time does come and that special someone, a soul-mate or life partner does enter our life, the relationship is able to reach higher levels, stronger bonds with all facets being the highest possible.

Loneliness is for the most part fear. And as we know fear makes horrible decisions. And fear is not to be confused with self-preservation or true instinct. Self-preservation prevents us from jumping off a 300' bridge, fear holds us back from exploring our own self and the world waiting outside.

For the majority of us, although loneliness has some influences that may arise from a shift in our life patterns or habits, such as learning to sleep, eat or be alone. When we were or had been accustomed to sharing all of those everyday experiences that are not true fear but in part an unavoidable part of being human. To miss another person or even just the companionship we shared is a normal process or transition and that can take time to heal or recover from. So we should never attempt to deny or disallow ourselves to feel the pain that often comes with a loss, as pain is a normal energy/emotion and we all experience pain at one time or another. However our pain should never destroy us, nor define us so that we are unable or unwilling to embrace all of the other aspects of our life and the most important of those- HOPE and FAITH. For those that work at encouraging faith and hope for the future, they will find that loneliness becomes less because these are incompatible energies or emotions. So if we let hope and faith slip past or we disconnect or disengage from the ability to incorporate hope and faith into our energy, our daily thoughts and life, we will almost always find that fear takes over and with fear brings loneliness that can overwhelm.

And again it's imperative that we accept and truly embrace the fact that all of these ARE choices we make, every day, every minute and sometimes every moment.

So the first step in denying loneliness to corrupt our life, thoughts, emotions and self-definition is to constantly remind ourselves that this is a choice. And what we choose will follow us, influence our life and any future or existing relationships- even those that are non or not romantic.
So as we begin to embrace the ideology and energy that being alone doesn't have to be accompanied by loneliness, we start by accepting (grace) that for NOW, not forever, not weeks, not months, but presently we are alone. And again in this context we are defining alone as currently without a potential life partner or companion. Once we are able to separate alone from loneliness, we should begin to expand on the definitions of loneliness and what that actually means to us, how we fuel or feed those or that feeling and how we can choose to dislodge it and replace loneliness with hope, faith and a time of being with self.

So the first step is to write down the word loneliness, and then all the emotions, images, past, present or future that come to mind. As you write this down, also use short or brief paragraphs to use a synopsis of prior bouts of loneliness. Even perhaps times you experienced loneliness when in fact you may have had a partner, companion or for some were living with another (romantic) or even married, engaged or otherwise committed in a romantic relationship.

Next; what we use to replace the energy, emotion and even language and how to balance self-awareness and circumstances that may not be able to be changed in the moment, but our energy is always able to be shifted. ~

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