Feb 28, 2020
Add It Up
Everything that happens to us teaches us something . Not always for the good, but always something we can use as life goes on. It always affects our life choices. Look back...
Thinking back is very informative! We see what an incident did to us, even small events! See what kind of influence it had, how it affected our lives and our choices. Some of them were good, some were terrible, but if we can figure out a way to fit those situations into the puzzle of our life, we are then able to use them in a good way. It then becomes a choice, not a reaction. Think of your nature. What kind of person are you? What do you believe and care about? It all fits together with what has happened to you. And we find out even the small things matter.
My mother who did not like her child. It affected me my entire life but also made me independent and sure of myself. I became the one who saw what was good about me and what may need to be changed. Her constant disapproval caused me to look at myself in a good way. We are capable of judging ourselves... keep that in mind.
Being put to work at 14. The disapproving mother managed the laundry business and nagged me constantly to learn to deal with customers, make change and fold sheets. It wouldn't be hard for a teenager to be angry about all of that, but everything depends on how we all look at it. I loved it. I learned so much in that one summer and I used the information my entire life. But it also taught me that I was a person born without a shy bone in my body and thought everything anyone told me was the truth! I was never able to resolve that quirk of my personality. I still think everyone is telling the truth because I am telling the truth. We can figure out how to blend the quirks into our life... eventually. Be honest with yourself! You are the best one to depend on for the right answers! You are you!
Surgery: Reality at age 15 when the appendix decided to turn into an emergency. I had no idea life could leave you laying on a bed in pain with part of your body in a trash can! Talk about reality! It helped me the rest of my life. I got careful and I knew what someone in pain felt like and what they were talking about and what they needed. I learned life and death are just that!
Falling in love. Learning how to bonk a boy on the head if he bothered me in the playground was good, but I discovered it takes a life time to learn that the mating thing is built in to our brain. I am not sure how to even explain that kind of feeling. What we learn from it is that nature kicks in and there are times when we simply cannot fight it no matter how hard we try. We experience the most intense feelings imaginable. Feelings that take over all of us, our mind, our body, our sense of logic and reasoning... all of that goes away. Nature intends for us to mate and reproduce and it is nearly impossible to fight it. In retrospect I learned a woman must feel good about herself regardless of what anyone else thinks. She must know how to support and take care of herself, and how to avoid pregnancy. Do this and we can be more sensible on the love side of things. Maybe...
Parents divorce: I learned too much about life at an early age. My mother and father divorced each other then married the couple next door. Everyone was combined, related. All the kids belonged to everyone. Everything in our life changed. We moved many times and changed schools 4 times in one year. My Mother went to work. There was always anger and bitterness vented everywhere. I learned that parents are not always right, not always good. It was a wound that never healed, but one I never subjected my own children to. I saw life as it really is at a young age... I can say I learned a lot, but also was burdened by sadness and anger that has been with me my entire life. Be careful people. Make divorce your problem; don't make anyone else feel the sadness you brought on to yourselves.
Sit down with a pencil and jot down the events that are still in your head no matter how small. Write down your past and see how it has affected the present. You will know why things are as they are and why you made the choices you made. You will know what changes to make. I know I have more to write... more to write...
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