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Life Stories by StarzAstroWand - "Empathy"

Nov 22, 2019

We all began our existence in another world.   A very small world of very warm water with constant noise and movement.  We could not breath, or see. There was nothing we had to deal with, nothing to think of, nothing to expect.. We were alive in a small, non demanding world.    Then suddenly things changed.  There was pressure and pain that went on  for hours and then we emerge into a 100% totally different world!  It was cold and bright and we had to suddenly adapt or die! We had to breath for the first time!  Our very existence depended on that one moment.   And that statement pretty  much defines our entire life... adapting to the moment.  What instincts, gifts, and issues we have (and how we use them)  decides our future.   My gift was Empathy.
I am not sure how anyone else defines empathy, but I describe it as  being able to sense the emotional energy of other living beings.  Everything alive sends out an energy.   Everything in our mind and body sends and receives energy from everything else that is alive. I wish I could say it makes life easier,'s up to each of us to decide how to use/deal with it.   I mean what if you are a lady with a handsome guy holding  you, kissing you, making you feel loved.  You want a good life partner to build a future with! Maybe this is it! Your mind flows forward and hope surges through you!  Then you  pick up the emotions from the 'partner' and it says: "I want sex".  Nothing about a wedding.
I grew up with a life like that.  I was not a wanted child so my mother took care of me but never expressed any caring or approval.   That affected how she treated me, and with every duty-based incident I picked up the dark brown energy around every action and every word.  What saved me was the fact I was born very intelligent and without a shy bone in my body.  I was born with the ability to see what needed to be done in almost any situation. I did not realize the reason I was able to be sure of myself was based on my ability to sense the true emotions of a person.  But it did not take long to also realize my depression was also based on that fact.  You can only put up a brave face for so long when you realize what someone was saying was not what they were feeling.  I use to try hard to fix it.  I began to ask how they felt about something to see if I could do something, but it did not take long before I discovered that action often made things worse.  One time I asked my mother why I was given only donated, oddly colored second-hand clothes  to wear to school and why she drove over an hour to a large city to buy all clothing for my younger sister.  She walked up to me with hatred and anger on her face and slapped me.  It's a fact that an incident always leads to something else, and that particular moment caused me to realize I was too informed, I needed to know why, and as a result I discovered empathy. I learned I  had it but needed to know how to use it, how to deal with it.   It can be one of the most challenging emotions anyone can talk to someone and know if what they say matches how they feel, and then figure how to react.  I learned my Mother had nothing but dislike for me, and there was no way to fix it.  I also learned  it was not my fault.  Realizing  she was choosing to feel that way helped me deal with many other strange moments life brought  to me. One thing leads to another, and sometimes the pain is worth it.
I have to say it never really gets easy.    It took years to realize what it was called and that the ability to tune in to someone else's emotions could take it's toll.  I had to learn I was still okay even if I sensed the other person did not like me.  I am a Libra and will not just step back and 'allow' something to destroy me. I am a cardinal air sign.   My brain will flow into every possible solution and eventually figure what to do, think, or say about it.
 But.....I decided to get some help. One day as I was going on about being angry about the actions of others, my  Mr. Shrink turned to me and said:  "Why is that so important to you?"      I had no answer.  Then I asked him: "How crazy do you think I am?"   He said: "I never did think you were crazy, you are just high strung..."    I sat there for a minute and thought:  I am okay!  I am not crazy, I just see things and make them too important, and take them personal!     It was almost worth the big money Mr Shrink charged me.  But answers are answers, get them where you can.
I didn't instantly get my brain back, but a lot of lights went on and I suddenly knew what I had to do. I had to write it down, talk to others who had the same 'gift',  speak the truth, read all the books, and don't take it all so personal!  It's a heavy duty gift we have to learn to live with! There is no making it go away! It's something no one can  see, but does not mean there is anything wrong with you.  I have learned knowing the truth can be heart-breaking, but very necessary. 
So when you are standing close to that romantic person.. go ahead and enjoy the kiss. You will be okay...

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