Jan 18, 2019
Full Circle
In life we never really know what role we will play in the lives of others or the significance our presence will play in the outcome of everything. The only way to see it is in retrospect, and there are times when seeing how it worked for other people will help us know we play a role in the world, and no matter how small, all of our words and actions have meaning. Always remember that.
Their husbands worked for the same large company, so that's how they met, at a company dinner. It was apparent Abby and Nina were alike. Around the same age, blond, not hard to look at, intelligent, forward, verbal, blunt, active, and open to learning anything. They clicked right away and it started a life long friendship that could never be defined or explained until the story ended. And all stories do.
Abby and her husband Lester lived about 5 miles up the river in a beautiful area of, hills, forests and open glades in the foothills of the Coastal Range of mountains. Abby's life was the country and horses. She and one of her mares had ridden at the Cow Palace in San Francisco and there was nothing the two of them couldn't do all the way from barrel racing to cattle herding and everything in between. Her husband loved her with a passion that was hard to describe. He worked hard on his job, but if Abby wanted something, he did whatever it took to make it happen. Build a barn? You bet! (Everyone jumped into that project). Lester did everything to make his wife happy. And her friend Nina could see why. Abby always looked beautiful. Her hair was always combed, make up on, always smiling and caring, but when the true story came out, Nina was amazed. She never would have imagined what her friends dealt with while still living active, productive lives. Abby had serious medical problems that she knew would eventually take her life. Now that she and Nina were friends Abby told her about what she had to go through just to stay alive, but to look at her you would never know. Abby had decided to live her life as fully as possible. It showed Nina how attitude and intentions affect a person's life, how it helps to be determined to just make the most of things as long as we can. A friendship with meaning.
By comparison Nina was living a good, but ordinary life with decent health, 2 half grown kids, a good husband, a nice dog, a comfortable family and some good friends. But she also had a sense of restlessness due to the turmoil of her past and always some anger and resentment that dictated how she thought of things. She had depression issues to deal with but was working on it with a counselor. So being with Abby was good for her, it gave her proof that a person's attitude is what defines their lives and that each person chooses how to think about things. The two of them helped each other. It would turn out to be one of those friendships that affected the future of everyone involved.
Several years into the friendship it was time for Nina to leave town and start a life of her own, something she had never done before. It had always been for someone else; parents, husband, children, families, community, jobs. Never in her life had she ever done anything that was what SHE wanted. One day she went to talk to Abby about it and Abby agreed this might be a good time to just 'get out there' and see what the world had to offer. And so one sad, exciting, frightening day, Nina drove away with no idea where she was going. Abby was always there for her if she needed to talk on the phone or to write letters, but she never tried to advise or influence Nina. She had her own life and death issues to deal with on a daily basis.
Nina and Abby exchanged letters as they both went on with their lives. Nina traveled around experiencing life from job to job, town to town, and was enjoying it! But the large company Lester worked for was closing. He had found a job in another city so they had moved all the horses and gear to a small ranch in Northern California and were settling in pretty well. As it turned out their lives came together again as Nina called one day complaining that the job she had did not work out and was trying to figure what's next. Abby said: "We have a spare bedroom and I could use some help," so a few days later Nina moved in on a "until you figure out what you want to do" basis. As it happened, Lester was working in Alaska so Abby had been alone on the ranch and being alone with her health condition was never a good idea. In fact, a few days after Nina moved in, Abby took her riding boots off in the living room and they both saw a terrible infection in her toes she had not been paying attention to. The next morning Abby was put into the hospital for surgery. It was almost like fate always managed to bring them together whenever needed. Nina took care of the ranch, Lester came home from Alaska. Abby came home from the hospital, and in a matter of weeks everything was back to 'normal' with Nina finding work and her own place to live. They lived close enough to be there if needed, but everyone just got on with life.
A few years later things changed again and Abby and Lester had to move again, this time to a small ranch in the high desert near the Los Angeles area. It was a difficult move. Abby's health was getting worse so there were many, constant trips to doctors, hospitals, homecare nurses, but in spite of it all, as usual she was getting on with life and with her horses the best she could. Lester was working long hours in LA but when he was home he was renovating the home from the ground up, so not only were they trying to build stalls and corrals for the horses, Lester was tearing out walls and moving major things such as the wiring and plumbing. Nina had moved in with a relative on the California Coast and stayed in touch with Abby but was never mentioned how bad things were. The pictures sent were the usual ones with Abby on a horse, looking joyful as always.
Then one day the phone rang and it was Lester telling Nina that Abby had passed away. Everything in her body had failed. Lester had no one to talk to, no place to put his grief and neither did Nina, so they talked on the phone very often offering comfort and good words. Then one day Lester said he wanted to come see Nina. It was a good visit but it was apparent that it might be turning into more than a friendship. They both were in need of stability and after only about 4 months Lester asked Nina to marry him, so they loaded up her things and drove to his High Desert home.
To say the house was a wreck would be an understatement. There was one horse left and it was obviously not being taken care of. Nina was in the middle of something she had not counted on, but she listened to the energy around her. She knew there was always a reason for everything. So she stood up straight, and jumped in to the work. She knew it was one of those times to see why a situation was given to her. She worked harder than she ever had. She settled Abby's estate, found a home for the horse, sold all the horse gear including the horse trailer she and Abby used to sleep in while on horse trips. She returned the hospital equipment such as the bed, wheel chair, IV holder, just to mention a few. The money was chaos, so Nina set up a bookkeeping system to see what had been paid and by whom and what was left. Her years on the road and working in so many different places was paying off. In a few years Lester went from being near bankrupt to actually having money in savings. Lester began to calm down, and they got along pretty well, but it was an odd set up. He and Nina had always been good at being friends, but being a committed couple was not really falling into place as they both had hoped. The reason for their friendship was gone. So they had to work at it, and as the years went along, everything on the property became settled, cleaned, revamped, painted and organized. But Lester was not. He began having moods and acting angry about nothing. Nina knew it was the grieving process that was finally taking shape. He had stayed too busy to face it, trying to outrun it, ignore the process, but Nina had known it would have to be dealt with eventually, and when it was happening it could go either way; Lester would either want to be free or would settle in to the relationship with her.
The time came, and Lester was honest about it. He wanted her to leave. The situation had run its course. Abby was gone, the house was clean, remodeled, the cars outside were new, debts paid, the savings account admirable. Nina had learned computers and found a job with a large company online, and even though she had nowhere to go, she knew the reason for her being there was finished. She had gained a lot from the partnership, they both had, but everything eventually comes to an end. She now could look back on all those years and see what each action accomplished. There are times when we simply must honor the process, take what we learned, and use the lessons for what comes next. Their lives moved on and went well for both of them. I think we all have a story of love, meaning and an end.. There are times when we must trust the process and try not to burn the bridges and just accept the results. There is no way to go back and change things. We just take what we learn and move on. Everyone benefited and Abby is at peace. Thank you, Life. You are a puzzle to be enjoyed.
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Image: www.depositphotos.com/# 133466182 Date: Nov 30, 2018
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