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Life Stories By StarzAstroWand/"G'bye Idaho"

Jan 11, 2019

Since the dawn of time women are hormonally and instinctively drawn to a 'mate' to establish a home and raise children.  Men are instinctively inclined to bring in such a woman and pay the price in order to get sex whenever he wants.  Why we are drawn to a relationship when there is no real reason behind it is another question.  Is it a you-help-me, I-help-you kind of thing?  Survival, the instinctive need to be part of a tribe setting of some sort?

I have to say I was not in the market for any kind of convenient tribal setting or child raising when the Handyman came to the house I had just rented in Boise.  My friends had decided to move back home, and the insurance job  was helping me get  to know the town and people but was not paying off yet. I knew things had to break loose and start to succeed or I would have to find another job and/or  leave.  So when I opened the door to this mature, handsome, well dressed repair guy I have to say my thought process was redirected for a minute.  I was not in the market for anything but money/work, and friends  but we know how the process goes.  We size it up and file it away for later.

The next few days were up and down with people in and out, including myself.   Everyone talking, getting to know each other while the minor repairs were being done, and I ended up offering to clean the landlord's rental houses for money, and swapped phone numbers with the repair man.  I figured what's wrong with talking on the phone?   But it was becoming one of those times when we get caught up in something, like we are sewn on to it, attaching us as each day goes along and we become more and more a part of it. That's what was happening with this community and me, and when the handyman asked me out, when we talked on the phone a lot  it was like being put into a play you don't know what it's about.  But you can't walk out of it until you see the end of the last act, and know how to sing the final song.

A few weeks later the song got louder.  The insurance job was not paying off, my money was running out, and the handyman offered for me to move in with him. I knew there was something not right about him but he was handsome, intelligent, educated, and from a nice family.  Then again, seeing where he lived did not fit in to any of that and some of his words did not make sense. Then one day after I moved in he said: "the chief psychologist at the veterans hospital wants to see you".  I know full well that saying I-have-other-things planned would have been the wise thing to say as I was packing up my clothes to leave, but...  Instead I was totally curious about what the heck was going on! The play was interesting.  I went to talk to the lady psychologist.  Seems the handyman had PTSD and any person who was getting into his life had to be aware of the problems.  After about a half hour she leaned back in her chair, . grinned, and said: "If anyone can handle this situation, you can."  And the play continued.

I started out finding a good management job again, seems that was something I was able to just walk into and handle, and as a result of my raise in status, the handyman, who was indeed very educated, got a teaching job.  In a matter of a few months we had outgrown the old place he lived in and rented a cottage way out in the country. That in itself would be a good story as the people who owned the area turned out to be interesting  friends right from the start.  I agreed to be the caretaker of their ranch when they traveled in exchange for some reduced rent money.  That and selling my art work was enough money to leave the management job and live in the beautiful country I was beginning to fall in love with. It was soft, quiet, basic and not complicated.

It was farming, ranching country near a fantastic river, and I was feeling very comfortable.  Yes, Handyman and I had our moments, but the more we were together, the more he did not sound confused, the more he made sense. I had met his mother and sister, they were high up in society because handyman's late father was a Doctor.  Everything seemed to be shaping up until... (there is always an 'until'), he came home from  work one day and said a new woman had come to work at the company and he was feeling that for some reason he had to 'be true' to her.  I asked if they were sleeping together, and he said no but we did about 10 years ago. I said: "well let's just see how it all goes". I figured he was in one of his confused moments, and it would pass, but months later it was still like living with a roomie, polite but not personal.   Winter was coming, snow and ice, and me being trapped in the wilderness with a person who had become a stranger was not in my play book, so I said quietly and gently: "I will be leaving."  He nodded his head, cried.  He had no idea how to shake the fantasy that had over come him, and I could not fix it. The play had ended, and I was making my exit, stage right.  It was hard to drive away from the homey cottage, but my 'what's next' gear was already kicking in and California was sounding like a lot of fun..  Have a good life, Handyman.. G'bye Idaho...

The lesson in all of this is there is nothing in life that is for sure. No relationships are for sure. Everyone is different, and no one stays the same. We all grow and change for whatever reason as we go along, as we live our life. We can't take it personally.  Women should all be able to take care of themselves in all ways because all women meet a Handyman on their path of life.


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Image: www.depositphotos.com/# 133466182   Date: Nov 30, 2018

 


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