Jun 12, 2017
You really enjoyed your first date with that terrific new guy, and now you’re wondering: Will there be a second? He seems interested. But is he really? Non-verbal moves might give you a clue. Read on for 9 tips for decoding men’s body language...
Much of human communication is expressed through body language, flirting included.
It’s not enough to flirt with words alone, because words can seem fake or insincere if they don’t match the nonverbal messages being sent according to lifescript.com.
Like women, men use body-language flirting all the time, often subconsciously. But what good does it do for a man to flirt if a woman doesn’t recognize it?
Here are 9 tips for decoding the sometimes confusing world of men’s body language…
Body Language Sign #1: He Acts Like the Alpha Male
Some men were raised to believe that women are attracted to the most dominant man in a room. Biologically, this makes sense, as female animals seek out males that are likely to be good providers and pass along excellent genes.
But people are more sophisticated than animals in the wild, and the rules and customs of human society usually outweigh our basic biological instincts.
That said, when it comes to flirting, we do revert a bit to our more primitive side. So when a man becomes a strutting peacock he might simply be using a primitive form of body language to flirt.
Sometimes that’s misinterpreted. A woman may see a man dominating a room or trying to make others appear subordinate and think, “What a jerk!”
A less dramatic version of this alpha male body language involves carving out personal space. For example, a guy might settle himself into a chair and spread out his cellphone, keys and other items on a table, or he might spread his legs on a seat, taking up more room.
These actions send the signal that he has claimed his territory.
Body Language Sign #2: He Catches Your Eye
When a man is ready to flirt, he usually scans the room for women he’s attracted to who look available.
If he catches your eye, it’s a sign he’s interested. But his gaze will pass quickly over women he doesn’t find attractive.
If a guy is a jerk, or only wants to hook up with you, he’ll probably invade your personal space a little too quickly. He may sit too close for your comfort, for example.
A man who enjoys flirting while getting to know you, though, will often allow you to take the next step. So he may remain standing while introducing himself and a good guy will ask if he can join you and wait for your invitation before sitting down.
If you’re interested in a man who catches your eye, hold eye contact with him for a few seconds, then look away. Your prolonged eye contact lets him know you’re also interested and if he starts in your direction, encourage him with a warm smile.
And don’t worry: Looking friendly and approachable will not make you appear desperate.
If you’re not interested, look only long enough to let him know you saw him and then turn away.
Body Language Sign #3: He Approaches You Confidently and Respectfully
If a man is truly interested in you he will respect your personal space.
A shy or insecure guy may not approach at all, or will show hesitation and nervousness. In that case, if you are interested in him, go ahead and make the first move.
Body Language Sign #4: He Demonstrates Active Listening
Once you’re in conversation with a man, his flirting may include the following body-language signals:
>He turns his body toward you when you speak.
>He makes eye contact, nods and raises his eyebrows.
>He actively listens, responds to what you say and wants to know more.
Body Language Sign #5: He Subtly Enters Your Personal Space
Most Americans follow the 3-foot rule: We’re most comfortable when others stay about 3 feet from our face. We call this our “personal bubble” or “personal space.” People raised in other countries, however, are often more comfortable with closer physical boundaries. But when a room is crowded and noisy, or when we’re seated together at a very small table, most of us can tolerate someone we don’t know well getting a little closer so we can hear one another better.
If a man enters your personal space in a subtle way, it’s a clear body-language sign that he’s flirting with you. He may shift in his seat to come closer to you, or lay a personal item like a phone on the table between you.
Body Language Sign #6: He Initiates Touch
Unless the guy is a creep, your first physical contact should be subtle and almost accidental.
He may brush your shoulder slightly when gesturing, touch your arm when making a point or agreeing with you or make some other contact you might hardly notice.
That’s a sign that this man is interested in getting to know you better. So do the same to him if you want to encourage him.
Body Language Sign #7: He Ignores His Cell Phone
Declining to take a call – or even check out who’s calling or texting him – is a clear sign that he’s flirting with you.
When he ignores or turns off his cell phone while talking with you, it means he finds you more interesting than anyone else who might be trying to reach him.
Body Language Sign #8: He Takes Things Slowly
If a man is looking only for a hookup partner, he’ll rush through the stages of flirting. But if he’s sincerely interested in you, he will move a little more slowly, ask a lot of questions – and he’ll be genuinely interested in your answers.
He may let you set the pace. And he might throw out subtle clues that he’d like your acquaintance to progress – perhaps asking you for a date. If he’s a good guy, he’ll want to know you’re also interested before he moves forward.
This kind of man is patient and willing to have nothing more than a conversation with a fascinating woman at a first meeting.
If his body language signals he’s flirting but he’s also patient and willing to move ahead slowly, odds are good that he respects you – and that he’s probably looking for a real relationship.
Body Language Sign #9: His Goodbye is Warm and Friendly
When you leave one another, a man who’s flirting with you will smile warmly and appreciatively, maintain eye contact and tell you how nice it was to meet you. He’ll ask for your phone number or email address and maybe a lunch or coffee date.
He also might touch your arm while shaking your hand or lean in for a hug. If he does give you a hug, it should be warm and friendly (no attempted groping!), showing he likes and respects you.
Body-language flirting is complex. And men and women often have very different ways of flirting through body language.
That’s why understanding how most men use body language to flirt can make you more accomplished at correctly interpreting a man’s signals
Image: Dating stages - clipartpanda.com
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