As humans one of the biggest mistakes we make is avoiding asking questions. With February being heralded as the traditional "month of love"; relationships, dating and/or the drive and desire for love, companionship and more dominates.
As we navigate through romance and even our platonic friendships, family and all those we associate with. Quite often we seem unable or unwilling to simply "ask" another person about an issue, experience or question that we may have. Although this can occur in any relationship, casual or otherwise, today we focus on our romantic endeavors and what often creates that reluctance to simply ask, rather than ignore or assume. Of course undoubtedly there are some questions that the answer to such changes or affects nothing in regards to our relationship or the pursuit of a potential relationship, in most cases it becomes the opposite. We choose NOT to ask because we fear the answer may be that which we prefer not to know. And this can often be the trigger or the very beginning of a dysfunctional or unhealthy relationship not to mention a lack of honest communication. Those of us that are balanced and self-aware; fully empowered and confident with self-knowledge of that issues are of great significance and/or importance and those that matter little if any. Those humans are much more apt to be direct and ask another to clarify, explain or answer when something feels off, perhaps doesn't add up or just seems or feels to be a possible red flag or on the other hand a powerful reason for moving ahead.
For those that have endured loneliness or a long list/line of destructive or ill-fitting relationships, rather than being more inclined to ask, our fear and instability can shift our focus so that we instead seek a plausible answer, conclusion or cause that enables us to continue without really knowing the truth.
Obviously there are certain topics that are not usually discussed in length at the beginning of a romantic relationship. And we also should keep good manners of course. So asking our date how they acquired that large scar on their forehead is probably not a good way to begin. And chances are the answer is not going to be totally irrelevant to any possible future nor will that give us insight into the type or nature of another human. So we do need to use our common sense, while at the same time being willing to face any and all "questions" or that which seems or could be what we may call a "deal breaker". And while there is no guarantee that another person is going to be honest, it is much more difficult to lie to another face to face when asked a direct question, than when the issue is left alone or to interpretation. And for those we may choose to question about a fact, statement or a comment made that we do not fully understand or feel comfortable with. For those that also have a strong self-image and honorable intentions a question that may be too sensitive to fully address or disclose in detail. If there is nothing to hide, then that IS an acceptable and reasonable answer. And depending on the status of a relationship, whether a second date or after 6 months, the longer we have been building a romantic relationship the fewer questions should arise and those that do should be asked at the time they appear.
And if you take a moment and look back over various relationships; many of us if not all can relate to both scenarios, a time when we didn't ask and learned or lived to regret filling in the blank ourselves. And the times we did ask and found the answer may have been extremely different than whatever answer we chose to create.
It sounds like a simple interaction between two people. You have a question or are curious about a matter and therefore you ask the source to receive the truth and potentially an explanation. Yet in reality there are many more of us that attempt to ignore or move past those burning questions and in doing so, we are then left to either ignore what could be a profound issue. Or we then begin a journey into creating and in that creation it can be easy to build upon so that we may succumb to that ideal person or relationship that we are seeking, but have no real support for whether it actually exists.
Next, why it can often be so difficult to just "ask".