Dec 3, 2016
Soul Mates and Love in 2017
Part 1
The term “soul mate” usually conjures up the image of that perfect partner. An instant attraction, the feeling of knowing this person is rights for you and the assumption that relationship problems are few if not totally absent.
As with most spiritual ideologies, the term soul mate can be subjective and can vary in definition from expert to expert. It also requires the ability to embrace a given set of beliefs or belief systems to understand the term and how it can apply to your life and relationships, and how to really know if someone is your true soul mate.
It begins by accepting the concept that our spiritual energy or soul often has more than one lifetime on earth. If each of us lived only one physical life then it would be hard to explain how a soul mate is created and why. The majority of us have lived several lifetimes, and some even hundreds!
Consider for a moment that many of the people that are active in our life to be “familiars”, this is a term used to help explain why we are drawn to certain people over our lifetime; friends, co-workers, even family members can be familiars. These are people which played key roles in previous lifetimes, although the relationship or role may vary from life to life. A soul mate always denotes a romantic relationship and it seems likely that such a person has had some type of romantic connection during former lives. The goal in all this reincarnation is to learn difficult lessons and to achieve the highest level of acceptance and understanding possible while still remaining human.
Prior to our birth, we have made some type of agreement, or contract so that our Karma is somewhat planned. In some way our soul mate is going to be a part of that life, but we have to always remember that free will often changes the set plan or Karma, either by our own choices or the choices of others.
Another key factor is we do not have only one soul mate. Like most things in the physical life, our opportunities are limitless. We need to always be aware of our free choice and be willing to accept that simply because we feel we have met or reconnected with a soul mate does not always equate with happiness nor the pursuit of such person.
How do we recognize a soul mate and how can we guarantee happiness in a relationship?
Firstly keep in mind that we have the ability to be attracted and connected to a variety of people throughout our lifetime. So chemistry alone is not enough. Assuming this is a Karmic manifestation, there should be numerous signs and symbols that help to guide us. Timing is also an extremely important factor, when our destiny has come for us, the timing should be at its highest level and obstacles should be few and easily overcome. The “feeling of supposed to be” is often used as the definition of Karma, but “supposed to be” is not reason enough to declare a “soul mate” and to pursue a relationship, relying only on connection and discounting or ignoring major red flags.
When your life path and journey has led you to meeting the person you feel sure must be a soul mate; the following situations and experiences are in general Universally true~
The connection should be strong and recognized by both persons. There is a strong feeling of familiarity, again by both persons. While sexual attraction is usually present to some degree, more significant especially in the beginning is the feeling of a strong friendship, someone with whom you feel trust, security and safety. Even in the early stages there is usually a need by both persons to remain in contact, whether by frequent dates or phone calls, tests etc. While there is often a feeling of anticipation and excitement, there should not be desperation and doubts. Even just being in the same room should create a sense of peace, harmony and happiness. All in all it just feels right, and both persons are equal and obvious about these sentiments, neither afraid to admit or to show by action their devotion. The actual time of knowing someone is totally irrelevant to the development of feelings, remember this person has been “chosen” both for and by you and this is the culmination of a long ago created plan. Timing; if the plan is on schedule and no free will choices have been made, past or present to alter the theme, you should both be at a time in your life when you are ready, willing and not opposed to the commitment it takes to place this relationship as a priority. It would seem easy to be able to spot a soul mate, yet so many humans seem to struggle with this concept, asking is he/she my soul mate?
Again keeping in mind that in our lifetime we may have the chance to meet or come into contact with more than one soul mate, that very fact alone does not automatically mean we should stop our lives and pursue this person or relationship to the ends of the earth.
Although a soul mate and the emotions created are very real, and often quite strong, other factors MUST be present for a soul mate to become a life partner. Remember free will? Not every soul mate is going to make the necessary choices, risks and sacrifices to make the commitment, and a commitment is essential to the success of a soul mate becoming a harmonious life partner.
The obstacles, where did I go wrong? The scenario often goes much like this. Two people meet; the connection is instant and powerful. Both persons admit to feeling something strong, like a magnet pulled together. The beginning starts off smoothly enough, contact is regular and perhaps even talk of the future begins at an early stage. Within sometimes days, weeks or even months, things begin to change. Generally one person feels the same and is left to agonize over what went wrong when the phone calls and contact become less frequent and a shift in the person’s energy is noticeable. Clients often become confused, conflicted and angry. What happened? Why did he/she seem so interested, pursing the relationship with gusto and drive only to let go and often times disappear later? If this was a soul mate, shouldn’t it last? And shouldn’t we wait until he/she comes back to their senses and realizes that this IS the right relationship?
The answers are complicated, and more difficult to understand and accept when one person still feels that strong connection, that “cord”.
It often happens that we meet a soul mate, and things begin on a very high level, but the person makes a detour in the Karmic plan, and for a myriad of reasons, decides to let go. It is not as important as one might think to try to discover whether or not a real soul mate connection existed, as no matter the feelings/emotions, we have to deal with the reality of any given situation. There are also times that a particular soul mate crosses our path briefly, but the plan was never intended to last a lifetime, even though it certainly felt like that in those moments together.
In rare cases, humans become consumed with fear, and allow fear to make their decisions, so in this scenario, the soul mate may leave, but return. Be warned however, this IS the exception and not the rule. When a partner leaves, and expresses discontent, no matter the specifics, they are likely not returning, and it’s up to us to pick up our life and more forward so we can move ahead to be open for that next opportunity.
There are also those that seem to swim upstream, unable to accept the reality given, these people continue to contact the person, texts, calls, stalking behaviors, all based on the rationale that such person was a “soul mate” and therefore the only possible path is being together. All of these attitudes and behaviors are self defeating, and usually result in pushing the person further away. It is imperative to keep in mind that “soul mate” does not always result in, nor equate with a life partner, or lifetime happiness. It is also why accepting and believing that we have more than one soul mate can help us to let go, when reality and the present situation shows us no real hope or path.
Timing and why it matters;
Again sometimes the difference between a life partner and a soul mate connection can be timing. It is possible and occurs more often than one would expect that we meet someone, again feeling that indescribable connection, that feeling of finally, “coming home”. But the external situations are simply not in harmony with a lifetime of happiness with this ‘soul mate”. Examples are one or more persons are married, one or both may recognize and even admit to the connection, but also readily admit to not being ready for any type of long term commitment, or relationship. These obstacles are not going to disappear, and these are as real as the connection itself. Again free will and choice plays an important role in terms of where we go from this point. Waiting, making threats, will not change the will of another and as mentioned previously will often have damaging affects to both persons. Again we as humans need to be able to accept the reality of the situation, and be able to move forward in life despite our connection and the assumption that this would be a life partner. Only be accepting the insurmountable obstacles can we begin to move forward and continue our journey to the one person that timing is with us, and free will and choice are in favor of a lasting and harmonious relationship. Too many times in these challenging relationships humans make great sacrifices of their moral, emotional and even physical well-being, all simply because of the “connection”. We cannot maintain our own self happiness when we are embroiled in conflict, compromising our most basic principles and morals, and living day after day after day in disappointment and heartache.
When it’s right and real;
Each relationship allows us the chance to learn more about ourselves, to prepare for that true life partner, and ideally to be in touch with our greatest needs, desires and those things which are intolerable to us.
When it finally does happen, and it’s a given or guarantee for every human who is willing to let go of what’s not working and be open to the future of what can work.
You may have met and had relationships or brief interludes with several soul mates before all the key elements are in order for a life partner. It is also possible that no soul mates have entered your life until the “one” that has all the elements and all situations are ripe and ready to proceed with a life time commitment and life of joy and happiness.
In general, upon meeting a soul mate destined and with our choices being in harmony, timing being the absolute best, the following indicators should be obvious and apparent.
Both persons feel the connection, are aware that something special and unique has transpired and are willing to make the risk, sacrifice and all choices needed to see the relationship through. External obstacles if present are easily and willingly overcome. The friendship is important, and grows with trust and understanding. Each person accepts the other as being human, is forgiving of mistakes and does not feel the urge or need to make major changes to either person’s lifestyle and/or personality traits. No huge compromises are needed, no person needs to devalue themselves, nor cause inner conflict or chaos with their moral and ethical standards. Both are willing to work towards a future together, and while in any relationship there are going to be bumps in the road, issues are ironed out easily with both giving equal time and attention to the good of the relationship. There should be little if any doubt about the other person’s feelings or agenda/intentions, as this should be spoken of freely with emphasis on working together, building trust, harmony and a sense of togetherness. The time spent together is easily filled with quiet joy, while some interests may vary, both are willing to be supportive of one another and encourage each to be their personal best. While meeting your soul mate does not guarantee you a life without stress or misunderstandings; these should be dealt with fairly and both should always maintain the best solution for the good of the future and thus the relationship. Our heart often feels light, full of optimism and strength as our intended soul mate always helps us to be a better person, and therefore create a better life for ourselves and for each other. There is no desperation, no waiting anxiously for a phone call or wondering why your intended has not called in almost 2 weeks. True soul mates, when all elements have culminated are patient, relaxed and trusting. Anything which veers from this path, or any strong feelings of doubt, uncertainty, questioning the validity of the love or feelings is usually good cause for doubt and time to review and evaluate if this is truly the person you are ready and intended to spend your life with.
A soul mate is a strong purpose and drive for all humans, and like a road trip, we often need a “map” to follow, so that we do not get caught up in a relationship that simply wears on our well being, steals our self-esteem and self confidence and causes us to feel anxious, nervous and full of chaos.
When the real soul mate finally appears, your life will change forever. You will suddenly understand all the prior hardships and heartaches and know with certainty that you have found your “home”. Another heart, that shares what we share, that unlocks our potential and helps us to aspire and achieve all we can be, all we were destined for.
If you find that you have been holding on to the wrong “soul mate” take this opportunity to let go, believe in yourself and move forward so those dreams can become reality and that love can be exchanged with equality and great reward. A soul mate is simply an opportunity to see if the puzzle piece fits, but a life partner is your purpose, your right as a human and your destiny at it’s very highest.
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