Mar 6, 2020
Life Lists
We are who we are... but if any part of that statement bothers anyone it may be time to figure out how we got to 'who' we are and why we do what we do in life. Sit down and make a list of any moment that you remember, no matter how small. Every memory has made a difference, has helped carve the path of your life, and can help you realize who you are. It shows us what changes might need to be made. Remember we did not create the moment, but we can see how it affected us and is in our power to make changes. Remember: the meaning of life is to be alive....how we handle that is up to us.
I was born an innocent person. I thought everyone in the world was good and told the truth just like I do! I never met a stranger or cared what anyone looked like. I thought I knew how things should be and what others should say and discovered early in the game that I had a temper against things that did not go how I knew they should, and never in my life lacked the ability to say what I was thinking. I cannot say that was a good trait but we are who we are. We either learn to live with it or change it.
I think it made a difference to be born to a woman who did not like me and a father who would say: "So I was told" if asked if I was his daughter. I did not have anyone to impress. I got stood in the corner many many times but never had a problem with it because once alone in a room I did not have to do or think about anything except what was flowing through my mind and imagination. I am glad they never knew I liked being stood in that quiet private corner.
The first 15 years of life were formed by some major things such as the divorce of my parents and moving several times. I was taught to drive very young, experienced the near death of a parent and put to work at a very young age. But oddly enough a lot of the moments that stand in my mind are not the major things, they are the strange little things that taught me about people.
Learning about men was something very very important. If you are a young female please, please read every book written about "why a man does what he does". Talk to someone you trust. And then learn not to build your life around having a man, being in love. Men will form a lot of your 'life moments' so be very informed and self sufficient... there are a lot of 'man things' in my list.
What about the man who asked me to marry him when I was 13. I got so depressed. I mean I was already the built-in baby sitter for my 3 siblings, why would I want to do that all my life!? I broke up with him. But then, what about the next boyfriend who took me to bed three years later. He had spent 2 years telling me anything he could think of to get me in the sack so of course I thought bells would go off and life would be wonderful when it happened. Not. But nature had kicked in so strong that I married the boy at 17 and had a baby 10 months later. I also discovered that the bed-thing is what motivates all men and that a woman can use that "urge" to their advantage. I learned to be able to use their mind-set to help me get what I wanted, and how to say no in a good way...it takes practice. Never forget: Your body is YOURS!
Then there was the man who saw a street gang trying to tip over my car and stopped them. Then a good man doctor who said: "Just because you don't use it does not mean you don't have to take care of it". Then the cop man who followed me in his car as I was walking home after work in the middle of the night. He got out of the car and taught me how to disable anyone with my bare hands. What about the man who said he was looking for someone named Mike Hunt and would I yell out that name for him in case he was in the area. Why do all these things stay in my mind?
The first death. My best High School friend. She and another friend were in a car accident and my friend was killed. It was the first time I experienced the fact that everything dies. Everything. The first death is unexplainable, it takes away life's innocence and shows us reality. I have lost many people since then and it has never gotten easier. The powerful urge to survive keeps us here until our day comes. It will help if you come to a conclusion about what happens to you once your day comes... That is a very personal thing, but it makes life better. Think of what fits, of what sounds logical and acceptable to YOU.
Leaving home... a major challenge. We do not know how to do anything. What do I wish I had known? How to cook and how to manage money. Sounds strange, but if we all know how to cook good but cheap food and manage what money there is, life would have been a lot easier! Think about it. Things for a good life: Know men! Everything about them! Learn how to take care of yourself, how to earn and manage money, and how to do basic cooking! Those are the three things you will use every day of your life!
Laying in a hospital bed screaming in pain as the doctor on duty was laying on a bed on the other side of the room trying to sleep. The nurse came in and told me the Dr. had delivered 22 babies in three days and I was the last one to deliver before he went home so could I at least shut up and let him rest!? I told her I did not know that sex caused babies and that it hurt like hell. She shrugged and walked out. The Number 23 girl came out just fine... But it took one more baby to help me figure out how it got there and how to continue the process but not the pregnant results.
Jot down your moments. No matter how small. In looking back you will see how each thing affected you because it's a moment you remember! Does it affect how you see life? It is not easy to change that sort of thing, but... we can. Change what you tell yourself about it. Find the humor, the good in it all, and how it influenced you because the way we look at something it IS the thing we CAN control! If you learn why something affected you and find a way to change how you look at it, life will get lighter... I promise. It all counts.
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Image: www.depositphotos.com License # 133466182 Date: Nov 30, 2018
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