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Sharing the Vision with StarzMayaMoon - "Dealing with Death" Part 5.

Jun 10, 2016

"Dealing with death"
A spiritual guide to grieving and releasing; those left behind versus those whose journey moves above or beyond the physical life.
Part 5

As we continue exploring the many aspects of dealing with death, we take a closer look at the support and sometimes challenges of dealing with other humans.

We need to keep in mind that very often human beings feel anxiety and because they can fear saying something "wrong" they often become distant or appear aloof and uncaring as we struggle with our mourning process. There are many that are quite fortunate to have family members and friends that do not let their fear or insecurity and conflict overcome their compassion and we receive strong support and compassion during our time of need. It's important that we do not take the reaction or the avoidance of others personally, but instead are able to see beyond their awkward interaction.

If you are blessed with understanding and supportive humans, this can have a very significant and positive impact on our ability to display our grief. It addition to allowing us the freedom to express our grief, pain and feelings of being displaced within our own life it offers extensive healing and recovery potential.

For those that have close friends or family, yet they seem to have taken a step back or appear awkward or uncomfortable in our presence it may be easily resolved by opening communication. Quite often as humans we feel many emotions and it is our intention to offer solace, sympathy or support; however some become overly concerned with making matters worse and instead choose to distance themselves. For those people that you had a close and strong bond or connection with prior to any loss, the chances are quite high that making an attempt to connect and even explaining your needs can help you receive the support you need. This is not for the comfort or to ease another’s conflict over a sensitive issue, but to "rally the troops" so to speak and to bring closer as many true allies as possible. Again while there are some individuals that can process through this difficult time without outside support, for the majority of humans we heal and recover much faster with spiritual and emotional support from others.

Let the individual or person's know that you really need their company and whatever is specific to your recovery, such as listening, perhaps outings to help distract you or just the company of others. In the majority of humans it is their intention not to cause additional pain rather than a lack of caring and concern. And for many of us we become socially inept in how to handle ourselves around someone who has suffered a tragic loss.

Another common occurrence is the inability of others to recognize our time frame of reference may be very different than what they personally experienced or perhaps expect. It is often true that during the first month or so after losing a loved one we receive many visits, calls, messages and even gifts of food and other personal items. But because our circle of extended friends or even co-workers, and family that may not have been directly related or maintained a close relationship with one who has passed on, they lose their sense of empathy. For those dealing with recovery and the grieving process a month is still a very short period of time and our emotions are most usually still running quite high. Other humans do not intend to be insensitive but often begin to fade into the background and the calls, visits and messages slowly taper off. While we can always and should reach out if we feel the need for their specific support, again this should not be absorbed as a personal lack of care or concern. It is just human nature to assume that we have moved on because they have returned to a more normal state of being. Almost always those that we have a bond or connection with are very responsive and will rise to the occasion once we clarify our continued struggle and challenges. Which is why it is imperative that WE are able to be totally open and honest about our feelings and able to be truthful when asked, "How are you holding up"? It is again our built in or programmed answer to say fine, or to brush off our true feelings so as not to burden others or seem overly sensitive or weak. However the majority of those that answer honestly and express their struggle and even perhaps make their needs known, most will be appreciative of that honest and make genuine efforts to help or be supportive in whatever way is possible. It is up to us as the one in mourning or grieving to be able to be honest rather than dismiss concerns or questions, only to feel rejected, alone and abandoned by others.

You have had enough time; this can often become a major obstacle and has the potential to separate strong bonds, friendships and connections. Again as human beings we tend to evaluate all situations and even emotions on a rather general or universal scale and when we are not directly suffering the same or equal loss or pain, humans can often be misdirected. Well-meaning and genuinely caring friends and family may begin to reject our ongoing sadness or difficulty in overcoming our grief. They can truly intend to help us, but no one is able to define our personal journey and decide when enough is enough.

Before you react with anger or increased sadness or feelings of being alone; take a moment to identify that there is simply no way for another human to fully feel or understand our individual heart, spirit and how long or in what manner we grieve and/or mourn. And rather than losing what can be a potentially supportive friendship or connection, give the person the benefit of the doubt. Let them know you realize they are only invested in helping you to cope, but again honesty with your feelings and the level you are at is always the best way to unify the connection and receive the ongoing support vital to our healing. If you find for whatever reason others simply are unable to be compassionate, understanding or patient, it may be a good time to seek outside help and resources. Whether as mentioned that is group meetings, traditional counseling or spiritual guidance and intervention, it serves our greater good and higher path to seek help rather than continue to struggle alone.

And there are times when the expectations of others is just not fitting or in alignment with our personal timeline or our personal experience and how we process or journey through this period or experience. The only exception to this is as mentioned in parts 1-4, when we ourselves feel that we have become blocked or stuck and can recognize that there is genuine truth to the worry, concern or statements from others of moving forward. If you feel you are not making progress, then it is perhaps time to listen to and heed the advice of others you know, love and trust.

As with so many things in life, often we have to act the part before we can be that person. And when it comes to grieving and our process of healing and recovery; our spiritual energy and core will alert us and nudge us when it's time to step back into the world. Even if we do not feel ready and almost have to force ourselves to attend functions, go places or just interact with others in a more general and open way, it may be our path back. We should always be our own gauge and filter and never allow others to define us in any aspect of our life or our being and most especially not to dictate when our "mourning phase" needs to end or what or how we should be feeling.

As we have continually stated the grieving, recovery and rebound process is a very individual and personal journey. It cannot be compared to another human’s journey no matter how similar the situations may actually be. And we have likely suffered and struggled enough, we do not need to feel pressure from others nor should we be striving to reach some expectation placed on us by anyone else, except our own spiritual and emotional energy and self.

Just as some infants walk at 9 months and others at 15 months, both children will eventually walk and fall within the "normal" or healthy category. The same is true of the process of recovering, redefining and reclaiming our life and self-back. While some may be whole or nearly whole in a year for others it can take 3. And as long as you know you are making progress and have not become blocked or stuck along the way, that is all that matters.

We should during these difficult times more so than any other is defined ONLY by self, and surround ourselves with those that can be respectful and supportive. Those that honor and allow our right to process emotions in our own way and own sense of time. Always remember that most are genuinely concerned and be sure to be honest with those who ask or even question our frame of mind or worry we are not making "progress". Sometimes just sharing where we are and that we have maintained our "hope and faith" is enough to help others accept each journey is varied, different and there is simply no right or wrong way in recovery or in this transition.

Next, what comes after death? What is the potential for those that have moved on? ~


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You may reach StarzMayaMoon at:  https://starzpsychics.com/


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