Dec 8, 2018
Image: TV set lighting - clipartpanda.com
Have you ever wondered why Carrie Bradshaw loves to party? There's an astrological reason for that, and we can explain why according to this article from refinery29.com. We're bringing together two of our absolute favorite things: awesome female television characters and the zodiac signs. Everyone loves a good The Signs As...meme, and we're taking it to the next level. In this slideshow, you'll find some of TV's most iconic women and discover their sign. Suddenly, everything about that character will make so much more sense.
In cases where the character's birthday is known, we listed it and matched them up to their sign as appropriate. In cases where we don't know their birthdays, we matched them up with the sign we think suits them based on their personalities. Luckily, we have a lot of material to go on — for example, no one exemplifies a Virgo more than Abbi Abrams from Broad City, and the Walking Dead's Michonne is a total Taurus.
In order to get everything as astrologically precise as possible, we also looked at source material and fan theories about certain characters' birthdays. On Insecure, we don't know Issa Dee's birthday. But we do know that she celebrates her 29th birthday in the very first episode of the show, and she goes into work at We Got Y'all that day. The back of the classroom is decked out in Black History Month artwork of children, so we can surmise that her birthday must be in February. And given that the entire wall is decorated, we can also assume that it must be later in the month, because the wall wouldn't be as full in the beginning of the month. Therefore, we've deduced that she much have a late February birthday, and thus, is a Pisces.
Aries: March 21 — April 19
Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, are tough, brash, and full of passion. They tend to be go-getters and leaders, and even when they're introverts, they can be just as fearless when they're around their squad. They are energetic forces of nature that define the fire signs.
Cookie Lyons (Empire)
Cookie Lyons, portrayed by Taraji P. Henson on Empire, is not content to follow the family's pack. She must lead it at all times, and does so with with an Aries' boldness.
Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones)
Daenerys, played by Emilia Clarke, is obviously a fire sign — after all, her weapon of choice is literal fire. She is a ruthless leader who passionately stands up for her beliefs, but also exemplifies a defining Aries trait: impulsiveness. Dany makes some questionable decisions based on her feelings in the moment, and doesn't listen to advice. An Aries answers to one person only: themselves.
Taurus: April 20 — May 20
The Earth sign of the bull is defined by a stubbornness that is only matched by a love of luxury. Tauruses love to envelop themselves in fine clothing, fine food, and even finer company. They will also fiercely protect the people they love, and will fight for their point of view. Once a Taurus has made up their mind, there's no changing it.
Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)
Lorelai Gilmore's (Lauren Graham) birthday is April 26, 1968. She is a Taurus right down to her eating habits: she loves diner food, and hangs out Luke's on the reg. She also stubbornly refuses to deal with her parents until it affects her daughter, Rory (Alexis Bledel).
Michonne (The Walking Dead)
Michonne, like many of the characters on The Walking Dead, has an unknown birthday, which makes sense — their lives before the zombie outbreak are inconsequential at this point. But we think Michonne, played by Danai Gurira, is a Taurus to the bone. She's extremely stubborn, but loves beautiful things (remember that cat sculpture?) and she is happy to live life on her own terms.
Detective Superintendent Stella Gibson (The Fall)
Det. Gibson loves three things in life: working hard, having sex, and wearing luxurious white silk blouses. She checks off all the boxes for a Taurus' favorite things.
Gemini: May 21 — June 20
Geminis are smart, insightful, and will dazzle you with their words. They're curious and enjoying learning, but always have an internal fight with their dual souls, which can make them anxious and indecisive. They're air signs, which governs words and intellect. A Gemini is forever searching for a BFF or partner that will help them be their best selves.
Piper Chapman (Orange is the New Black)
If anyone is a Gemini, it's Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling). Piper's book smarts come in handy as she navigates the murky world of used panty-dealing, and is seen as two-faced by her fellow inmates. But her Gemini traits aren't all bad — she adores her partner, Alex Vause (Laura Prepon), because Alex keeps her worst urges in check. We know that deep down, Chapman appreciates that Vause looks out for her.
Hilary Banks (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)
Geminis are known for being excellent communicators. Hilary Banks (Karyn Parsons), as she grows into a TV weatherperson and eventually hosts her own talk show, exemplifies Gemini's gift of gab. Her birthday is on May 25.
Alison DiLaurentis (Pretty Little Liars)
Alison DiLaurentis (Sasha Pieterse), whose birthday is on June 6, is a literal dual personality: she can be both sweet and kind, and malicious when she wants to be. She also has a myriad of aliases that she uses to communicate her best and worst desires.
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Cancer: June 21 — July 22
Cancer, the water sign of the crab, is sensitive, very romantic, highly empathetic, and intuitive. They can tell how you're feeling just by looking at you, and feel their own feelings deeply. It causes them to become restless and moody — sometimes they have so many feelings that they just can't deal. Cancers are also very hardworking and love putting their nose to grindstone.
Mindy Lahiri (The Mindy Project)
Mindy Lahiri, created and portrayed by Mindy Kaling, shares a birthday with her namesake: June 24. And it makes a lot of sense: a total romantic, Lahiri throws herself into love. Her emotional availability is a hallmark of Cancers. She's also worked hard to become a physician, and uses her power to heal as an OB/GYN.
Sookie Stackhouse (True Blood)
Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) celebrates her birthday on July 1. And the emotionally-driven Cancer defines Stackhouse to a T. A Cancer's deep intuitiveness can often feel like psychic powers, because they're so able to understand others' feelings. She's also quiet and sensitive.
Cersei Lannister (Game of Thrones)
Okay, hear us out. Cersei Lannister (Lena Heady) may not seem like a Cancer, but there is a fan theory that says that Cersei was born on the last minute of July 22, making her a Cancer, and Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) was born on the first minute of July 23, making him a Leo. This is because those signs match up perfectly for their characters.
Why is Cersei a Cancer? She is passionately protective of her children, to the point where it drives her mad. A Cancer's sensitivity also means that when they are hurt, they feel that hurt very strongly and can react explosively. Cersei simply can't handle her own emotions. A Cancer is a crab, after all, and those sharp pincers are there for a reason.
Leo: July 23 — August 22
The sign of Leo is bright, sunny, cheerful, and loves to command attention. Leos are known for being fabulously full of themselves. They're also the most emotionally-oriented fire sign, meaning that they have a very fragile ego when their innate confidence is checked. Leos are also fiercely loyal and while they can't hold a grudge, they can fight with the fire of the sun.
Tasha "Taystee" Jefferson (Orange is the new Black)
How can you find a Leo? Look in the center of the room. Taystee's (Danielle Brooks) birthday is unknown, but we imagine that she's a Leo. She's fierce, she dominates conversation, and is passionate and sensitive, a combo that makes up the truly emo lion. As a natural leader, she takes on the roll of advocating for prison reforms during the riot, and is not content unless her voice is being heard.
Sun Bak (Sense8)
Sun Bak (Bae Doona) celebrates her birthday on August 8. She's a quintessential Leo: hardworking and will not back away from a fight. Although she knows that her brother gets most of the attention, she basks in the glow of her friends.
Jenny Schecter (The L Word)
Leos are probably the most feelings-oriented of the fire signs, and maybe of all the signs. And while Leos are known for their extroversion and cheerfulness, they are awful at keeping their feelings in check. Few characters on TV have had more emotional turmoil than Jenny Schecter, and the way her feelings tumble out of her is so Leo. Confirmed by me, a Leo.
Virgo: August 23 — September 22
Virgos are the sign most likely to carry around a day planner. As an Earth sign, they tend to be on the quieter side, are very organized, and love to make lists and stick to a routine. Their analytical nature lends them a huge advantage in the workplace and in dealing with other people's feelings, because they can suss out the problem and fix it. Virgos are also very sentimental: every Virgo's home is filled with objects from their life that have a lot of meaning for them.
Olivia Pope (Scandal)
From the moment Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington) was born, on September 16, she was not here for any bullshit. Her ability to sort out insane drama and put it back together is a hallmark of her Virgo sign.
Kate Pearson (This Is Us)
Virgos enjoy being caretakers, because they love to implement solutions. As her brother Kevin's (Justin Hartley) manager, Kate (Chrissy Metz) dutifully picks up the pieces when he goes astray. A true Virgo, she also keeps her dad's ashes in an urn, and routinely watches football with it every Sunday. Kate's (and Kevin's and Randall's) birthday is August 31. We think Kate is the most Virgo of the Big Three, though Randall (Sterling K. Jones) gives her a Virgo run for her money.
Abbi Abrams (Broad City)
Abbi Abrams (Abbi Jacobson) doesn't have a known birthday on the show, but she is such a Virgo, right down to her reserved clothing style and anxiousness. Virgos spend so much time analyzing things in their mind, that it can make them very critical and nervous. Abrams is a bundle of nervous energy, and half the fun of watching her is seeing how she reacts when life throws curveballs her way.
Libra: September 23 — October 22
Libras, an air sign, are the life of the party. They are fabulous, confident, and are eager to please everyone. They are outgoing and friendly, and are definitely the social butterflies of the zodiac. Libras are also serial relationshippers — whether its with themselves, their besties, or their love interest.
Carrie Bradshaw (Sex & The City)
Carrie Bradshaw, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, was born on October 10. If you need to envision the breathing definition of a Libra, it's Bradshaw. Everything about her is so Libra, down to her love of social events and shoes. She's always looking for love, but craves the company of her girls. She's not content to sit around — Carrie works hard to go further in her career, even if she does it with impulsiveness. Libras are known for their scatterbrains.
Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)
Thats right, Marge Simpson (created by Matt Groening, voiced by Julie Kavner) has a birthday: October 1. As the Libra of the Simpson clan, she enjoys keeping the house in order and is always optimistic. Her family is her social group. One thing a Libra loves? Being a moral compass, and Marge relishes that role in her family.
Eileen "Candy" Merrell (The Deuce)
We don't know her birthday, but there's no denying that Candy Merrell (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is the true life of the party. Her social skills are used to maximum effectiveness when she decides to pursue porn as a career.
Scorpio: October 23 — November 22
Scorpios! They're the most misunderstood and beloved (or reviled) sign of the zodiac, but really, these water signs just want to be taken seriously, because they take themselves seriously. They keep their feelings and their motivations guarded and love to keep their social groups guessing. Their passion knows no bounds — and neither does their ability to plot revenge. Scorpios are known for playing the long game.
Offred/June Osborne (The Handmaid's Tale)
Offred (Elisabeth Moss) doesn't have a birthday that we know if. But if there's any reason why Offred managed to survive, it's because she called on her most helpful Scorpio qualities: determination, observation, and the ability to use a ruse for her survival. Being mysterious works in Offred's favor, and keeps everyone from guessing her dangerous motives.
Santana Lopez (Glee)
Santana Lopez (Naya Rivera) is hands-down the great Scorpio on TV. She can be very mean, but it's only because she didn't know how to deal with her feelings about her sexuality. Scorpios are known for being moody when they are struggling with emotions, and have a hard time working through them. And heaven help the person that crosses Lopez: she crafts full-on revenge plots. Her birthday is in November.
Daria Morgendorffer (Daria)
What is Daria (voiced by Tracy Grandstaff) thinking? Who is she, behind the cynicism and boredom? That's her inner mystery as a Scorpio: she likes to keep her truest self fiercely guarded.
Sagittarius: November 22 — December 22
The last fire sign of the zodiac, Sags can't be pinned down. They have a need to travel and live life out loud, often zipping through partners and zip codes. Their fiercely independent personalities tend to be larger-than-life, and they're incredibly generous and kind.
Molly Carter (Insecure)
We don't know Molly's (Yvonne Orji) birthday, but we think she's a Sag. Hear us out: she loves to travel; getting that job in Chicago fulfills her need to explore the world. She also is the designated party boss of the group, often being the one to organize social events or encourage others to go out. Sags are also great listeners, and Molly is always there during Issa's existential crises.
Blanche Devereaux (The Golden Girls)
Blanche (Rue McClanahan) is such a Sagittarius, even if we don't know her official birthday. She's vivacious and loves dating, often sleeping with several people and dating when she wants to. Her optimism lights up a room, and she's always there for her friends. Nothing can pin her down — especially not a man.
Ruby/Moira (The Handmaid's Tale)
It's a Sagittarian's need to travel that may have helped Moira (Samira Wiley) escape. In June's flashbacks, we get the sense that Moira was fun-loving and gregarious, and not the type to keep quiet. Moira is also not afraid to do big things, and it's that Sagittarius fearlessness that keeps her alive.
Capricorn: December 23 — January 20
Capricorns, the last Earth sign, are no-nonsense folks who do not have time for funny business. They keep their emotions in check so they can accomplish their goals. Caps are disciplined and studious, and are natural leaders. They also adore their home life, and enjoy both their family and material goods, viewing them as the product of their hard work.
Buffy Anne Summers (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)
No one is a truer goat than Buffy (Sarah Michelle Geller). Her birthday is January 19, and if there's one character who puts ambition before all, it's the Vampire Slayer. Buffy is cool, collected, detached, and puts her feelings behind her goals.
Dr. Cristina Yang (Grey's Anatomy)
Dr. Yang (Sandra Oh) is all business, all the time. Her focus on her job allows her to concentrate on healing her patients, but she still has a pleasant bedside manner. Capricorns are the ones we look up to the in the workplace, and Dr. Yang is respected by (most of) her colleagues. Her birthday is unknown.
Leslie Knope (Parks & Recreation)
Another career-oriented personality, Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) feels the call to public service deep in her bones. Her birthday is on January 18. As a Cap, she puts her job ahead of everything, occasionally to her own detriment. She's so passionate about her job that she sometimes can't see when things are going wrong, or when people don't like her. Her solution is that harder work will fix everything.
Aquarius: January 20 — February 18
Aquarians are an air sign, so they love to deal with philosophical leanings of life. They seem to float around in their own world, and are creative, funny, and are deeply empathetic. Aquarians also fight passionately for a cause, and have a need to change the world, even if it is the world around them.
Ilana Wexler (Broad City)
We don't know Ilana Wexler's (Ilana Glazer) birthday, but we do know that she is a textbook Aquarius. She can be very scatterbrained, but is always considering the bigger questions of life. She's also hilarious — Aquarians are known for their sense of humor.
Lieutenant Olivia Benson (Law & Order: SVU)
Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) has one mission, and that is to save others. As a Special Victim Unit police officer, she boldly stands up to perps and defends those who need her. Benson is known for her ability to empathize with victims and cares deeply about women and children. The fictional world is a better place because Benson is in it. Her birthday is Feburary 7.
Pisces: February 18 — March 20
Pisces are the fish of the zodiac fam. As water signs, they are extremely emotional people who deal with their own emotions and the emotions of others, seeing it as a responsibility to take on the needs of others. Pisces are also the most romantic sign of the zodiac: for them, love is their motivating force. They are also very creative and enjoy art, music, and are wise people.
Dana Scully (The X-Files)
Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) is Mulder's complete opposite: intuitive, quiet, and deeply in touch with emotions, particularly his. Scully has almost a sixth sense of knowing how Mulder will feel or react to things. Her birthday is February 23.
Joan Holloway (Mad Men)
Believe it or not, Joan Holloway (Christina Hendricks) is a Pisces. Her birthday is February 24. But it makes so much sense: Joan is very sensitive, and views her role as office manager as a caretaker. She makes it a point to attend to the feelings of her coworkers, although she values discretion. A hopeless romantic, she ends up in relationships that aren't the best for her, but make her feel like a million bucks.
Issa Dee (Insecure)
We don't know Issa Dee's (Issa Rae) date of birth, but as we mentioned previously, were able to surmise that it is the end of Feburary. And it makes total sense: as a Pisces, she find joys in helping others (to the extent that she likes her job), and loves music. Her secret talent as a rapper mirrors the Piscean mystery. Plus, her awkwardness comes from having a lot of feelings.
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