May 13, 2016
"When their actions and/or behavior becomes our/your pain"
Part 3
We have all been there at one time or in one way or another. Those relationships even when in the new or "development" stage quickly prove to be more pain than gain.
From the point of meeting there are obvious and recognizable obstacles, issues and almost always a lot of drama. While the specifics or nature of these obstacles or drama may vary or differ the result and the effect on our self and life is always the same; chaos, disruption and when allowed to progress in spite of the mounting problems, eventually the pain.
While many of us are quick to act in self-preservation mode and exit at the first warning flag, others just cannot seem to disconnect or extricate before the relationship or the energy of the other becomes unified with our self, life, energy and path. For those that are self-aware, have clear boundaries and a well-formed identity and sense of self, the warnings are much like screaming sirens, much too loud and too close to ignore. And for those fortunate enough to rely on their intuition, instinct and often just common sense, the "train wreck" or the potential disaster is totally avoided. And whether this is the result of prior learning experiences with painful outcomes or because love and having a life partner is a want rather than a desperate need, the outcome is always self-serving. And therefore not only do those humans dodge that bullet in a manner of speaking but they embrace the greater potential of being open and available for the "right" one. Or at the very least are able to surround themselves with other persons that add to their existing life and path rather than taking what was likely hard earned. These are the humans that have formed the highest spiritual connection with self, collective and Divine. And again whatever series of events or processes brought them to this place (the state of being, energy, not a literal location) most are fully accountable for their choices both rewards and consequences. These humans understand that loneliness is not always based in being "alone" or minus a partner. They ascribe to a higher belief system that aids them in their quest and validates universal law that just any relationship is better than none at all. Toxic, dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships are in fact much worse than being single or alone, the can and often causing extensive damage that can be avoided by choosing rather than attaching.
So what is the weakness or fears, the missing link between avoiding that sink hole of their behavior- our pain and those that lapse into such relationships time after time?
As we take a closer look at those currently involved in relationships that are basically painful or causing pain in one way or another, we look at what the attachment is and why then we allow these to continue.
So for those currently in a romantic relationship, whether that is a marriage or a loosely defined relationship where we are still attempting to seek a commitment, or validation of their feelings and intentions. And this is specific to those that are suffering in one way or another due to the choices, actions and behaviors of the other human.
For many of us we either ignored or were unable to see the original warning signs and we often justify remaining, waiting or holding on because we feel we then lose what we have already given or the time, energy and resources spent. But the truth is the past IS the past, and even when we are in the midst of a relationship or in creating such. We need to cut our losses once we recognize that we are carrying the burdens, the pain and the sacrifices. Think of this much like gambling; if you have already lost $500 dollars on the slot machines, and because of this loss are now unable to pay your bills, spending MORE money in the hopes of recouping your original loss is not only foolish but dangerous as well. And yes of course we can get "lucky" and miracles do occur, but we cannot live or base our lives' and especially romantic or personal relationships on the hopes of Divine intervention and/or miracles. Not to mention while we may make the choice to put the money in the slot machine, we have absolutely NO control over where it lands. And the same is true in interpersonal relationships. We have the choice to connect and also to detach and disconnect, we however have NO control over the actions, choices and behaviors of another, and they are the metaphoric slot machine.
While past wounds, trauma and painful experiences can often enlighten and teach us to become more cautious and guarded, such is not always the case. For some humans negative experiences tear away at the structure of our identity and spiritual being and connection and we end up becoming vulnerable victims to all or any predators. And all humans have "tapes" or "movies" that play and replay in their memories and can be conscious or sub-conscious. For some of us, the more difficult a relationship becomes or is whether an actual defined relationship or the pursuit of such, the more intense our drive to overcome or attempt to overcome the actions/choices of the other to alleviate the pain WE endure. In this chaotic climate, our psyche seems to believe that if we can change the worst, we can somehow make sense of the past and validate our own value and self-worth. Of course this is never the outcome and only creates a lower self-image while at the same time causes again pain, chaos and disruption in our life in all ways.
For others, we attach to a person the dream or the vision we carry of love or a life partner, a life shared with another. And we become so entrenched in these dysfunctional coping skills and the person that we are no longer able to separate the dream which can be real and manifested, from the person or the "poster child", which cannot be changed, shifted or made to fit our needs and desires.
And then we have those that simply are motivated by fear. No matter how painful, disappointing and unsatisfying a current relationship may be, however it becomes defined. The fear of what lies ahead overcomes our common sense, our spiritual fortress and the ability to be able to realize that whatever the future holds is better than what we currently are experiencing. We can become too accustomed to the shape or form of the current pain, the disregard or the dysfunction of a current relationship that we somehow justify and validate it as being the lesser risk. However the future ALWAYS holds great and amazing potential and we are all equal in what awaits so long as we are willing to make the choices to serve our greatest good. So for some, they may feel that their current partner is marginally "better" than the last and therefore worth the suffering. We become unable to relate to and see, embrace and manifest that love does not equate with constant pain, sacrifice and disappointment.
Allowing another person, no matter in what capacity that person fits into our life to behave in ways or make choices that are painful or never serving of our greater good nor that of the relationship are a very complex, complicated and difficult journey.
And no matter how long we may wait, how hopeful we are, or how much faith we place in what has already proven to be lacking in what is essential to our lives' the only real solution is letting go and moving on. And for many of us this seems to be an impossible choice and a treacherous journey. We become blocked from the truth that we are already in peril. We seem unable or unwilling to accept that which is our greatest fear, is actually what and how we have chosen to live.
Next, letting go and moving on the process of stopping the torment and facing our truths. ~
You may reach StarzMayaMoon at: https://starzpsychics.com/
Reproduction of all or any part of Sharing the Vision with StarzMayaMoon©, including previous posts, without the express written permission from Planet Starz, Inc. is strictly forbidden. All violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent.
Share this article with friends!
Tags:
#sharing#the#vision#with #StarzMayaMoon,#blogtalkradio.com/starzcast,#medium,#starz#advisors,#actions,behaviour,#starzpsychics.com
